The Slice: It was her ‘do’ or ‘try’ moment

There’s something to be said for being realistic.

My friend Sandy Tarbox shared this after The Slice mentioned nuptials the other day.

“At a friend’s wedding a few years ago, when the minister posed the usual ‘Do you take this man to love, honor and cherish,’ my friend answered clearly ‘I’ll try!’ ”

We have a winner: Determining who would receive the vintage Swell Paper yardstick was not easy, especially since some of those vying for it are longtime Slice readers and I would love to reward all of them for their loyalty.

But I am awarding it to Simone Ramel-McKay. Here’s her entry.

“Dear Paul, we’ve got one crazy cat that loves to hide his toys underneath the furniture. We would love a blue yardstick as it would come in very handy for retrieving said toys, much to the cat’s delight. And it would match our blue rug — aesthetics are important! In addition, my husband delivered both The Spokesman-Review and the Chronicle in his youth. And lastly, I have two feet, the cat has four, so between us we average three feet — exactly the same as the yardstick. We measure up you know!”

Why the Mariners did not choose you to be their closer: “I don’t have the patience to sit around for three and a half hours each game,” wrote George Kelley.

“Paucity of velocity,” said John Riley.

Tom Leonard, Joe Speranzi and others suggested it might be because they have lost a little off their fastball.

Slice answer: “If I could catch the train at noon (or any other reasonable time), I would ride and ride and ride,” wrote Audrey Jungers.

Secrets to a happy marriage: “First, you must have a good sense of humor,” wrote Barry Bauchwitz (married 45 years). “Second, you need to realize that most little things just aren’t that important.”

May Cotton, married 42 years, offered this. “I can assure you that the secret to happy marriage is commitment and communication. No marriage will last unless both partners are committed to staying together no matter what.”

To be continued.

Today’s Slice question: Ever been audited by the IRS?