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The Slice: Suddenly, little rants seem like a giant waste of time
If badmouthing Spokane and Coeur d’Alene residents is your thing, you will have to find someone else to listen to your rant.
Because I just don’t want to hear it.
Not after the kindness and support shown me during and after a health setback this summer.
Maybe the glow from these good vibes will not last. Perhaps I will take off my rose-tinted glasses before long. But for the time being, here is how I plan to respond to criticism of the best people in the world.
Angry reader: “People here are morons who do not know how to drive.”
The Slice: “People here have hearts full of love and compassion.”
Fussy reader: “People here are the worst dressed I have ever seen.”
The Slice: “When the situation is at its bleakest, people here are at their best.”
Dyspeptic reader: “People here remind me of the toothless backwoods goobers in the movie ‘Deliverance.’ ”
The Slice: “Spokane is home to the most generous spirits and thoughtful people you will find anywhere.”
Cranky reader: “My neighbor is a nightmare.”
The Slice: “My neighbor brought her elderly cat over for play dates when I was unable to go out.”
Peevish reader: “I hate Spokane because not everyone here agrees with my politics.”
The Slice: “People here who oppose every single public policy position you favor might be quick to ask ‘How can I help?’ when you need a hand.”
Annoyed reader: “Oh, if only I could live in Seattle or Portland.”
The Slice: “I’m sure those are great cities. But I wouldn’t trade the people here for anything.”
Irritated reader: “Spokane has the highest percentage of phonies of anywhere in the United States.”
The Slice: “Spokane has the most genuine, most down to earth people you will ever meet.”
Hostile reader: “I wish I could tell everyone here to shut up.”
The Slice: “I wish I could tell everyone here that their support and concern when I was ailing meant the world to me and I will never forget it.”
Today’s Slice question: Ever been aboard a boat that was sinking?