The Slice: If it walks like a pig and eats like a pig …

What’s in a name?

The problem with those who have objected over the years to calling the annual downtown food festival “Pig Out in the Park” (it’s next week) is they seldom offer alternatives.

The name isn’t going to change. But if you are going to complain that it is inelegant or gauche, you need to offer a remedy or at least fairly critique your own ideas.

Here, I’ll show you.

“Moderation in the Park”: A celebration of genteel alfresco dining and modest portions in Riverfront Park.

Would that put you in the mood for fun or what?

“Eat it, Spokane”: Food and folks, by the falls.

Imagine what poster designers could do with that.

“Feedin’ Fever”: Doesn’t refer to the location but it suggests a nice livestocky image.

Would almost require the person drafting a press release to write “Catch it!”

“We’re Gonna Need More Napkins”: Makes you want barbecue but lacks alliteration.

Does the “Jaws” reference work?

“Face Down In It”: Hints at the perfect pairing of culinary ebullience and robust appetites.

Perhaps some would understand that it is not to be taken literally.

“Eating and People Watching”: There is something to be said for not trying to get cute.

Sounds a bit like an old Talking Heads album though.

“Marmot Out in the Park”: Would make our food fair unique.

“Marmot” could become Spokane’s go-to verb.

Prime directive: A mention of the original “Star Trek” TV series in The Slice the other day reminded Mike Almond of the time the show’s creator gave a talk at SFCC in the early 1970s.

During his presentation, Gene Roddenberry showed a blooper reel featuring outtakes. In one, Dr. McCoy was supposed to grab nurse Chapel around the waist from behind as the Enterprise was tossed about. But the good doctor unexpectedly let his hands slide up and up until he was holding her in a rather R-rated embrace.

Roddenberry noted that the actress playing nurse Chapel, Majel Barrett, was his wife.

Today’s Slice question: What’s something unexpected your son or daughter did that filled you with pride?