Annie’s Mailbox: Time for mom to return to her own bed

Dear Annie: I am concerned about my grandson’s well-being. My daughter has always had “cuddle time” with “Joey.” It was OK when he was little, but now that he is turning 7, it seems worse. Now she is talking about getting him a new bedroom set that will be big enough for the both of them.

She says she sleeps better when she sleeps with Joey. I can only assume that means she doesn’t sleep much with her husband. I think this is getting a little bit out of hand. What do you think of this? – Concerned Grandparents

Dear Grandparents: It worries us when parents put their own needs above those of their child and selfishly convince themselves there’s nothing wrong with it. But there is.

Cuddle time with Joey is fine. He’s only 7. But your daughter should not be sleeping with the boy or, worse, giving him the impression that they share a bedroom. This is not only terrible for Joey, but for her marriage. Most young boys adore their mothers, so the message she is sending Joey is confusing and damaging and sets up a rivalry with his father. Unless she wants Joey to spend his adulthood in therapy, tell her to stop this immediately.

Dear Annie: I live in a Southern city, and many Northerners have moved here and attend our church. Most are delightful, but we are having a problem with one of the women.

“Doris” is an eager volunteer and a competent, efficient worker. Unfortunately, she also can be rude, aggressive, condescending and almost combative.

We want Doris to feel welcome and included in more activities, but we find ourselves making excuses to stay out of her way. – Southern Sally

Dear Sally: Some of Doris’ aggressive attitude may diminish over time. But it’s certainly OK to say gently, “Doris, your enthusiasm is wonderful, but could you tone it down just a wee bit?”