The Slice: New mug: Forget the smug?

I have a milestone birthday next month and that has me thinking I ought to have a new mug shot to run with my column.

Not sure how dated the current picture is, but I suspect I look a little older now. Don’t know about wiser.

Anyway, I would like your advice. When it comes time to have the new photo taken, what look should I go for?

Simply check the item most closely matching your recommendation and mail it in.

Try to look a little smarter.

Try not to look so smug.

Wear a Davy Crockett coonskin cap.

Get high before the photo session.

Put your chin in your hand.

Lose weight first.

Try to look taller.

Wear a Spokane Indians cap.

Do something bold re: facial hair.

Try to appear as if you are seeing the reader in his or her pajamas.

I don’t care about the picture, just stop writing about yourself so much.

Maybe a sheepish expression to convey embarrassment about typing in a bunch of stuff from readers and calling it a column.

Look amazed or pensive.

Dump the mug shot and go back to the peering-eye graphic from 1992.

Use a picture of your neighbor’s tabby cat instead.

Wear a monocle.

Go for a look that says “I tried to come up with something good, but instead this is what I wrote.”

Try to look irascible.

Be laughing.

Relax, it’s just a show.

Have the photo taken mid-yodel.

Go for a look that says “I like my readers.”

Your mug shot should suggest “Get off my lawn!”

Clench a long piece of straw in your teeth.

Try to look like you just got booked for wasting readers’ time.

Go for performance modesty.

Slick back your hair with grease.

Do something about the rampant graying.

Go for a look that says “Spokane made me this way.”

Other.

The deciding factor re: whether to host a Super Bowl party: “Does our carpet deserve a call to the guy with the steam machine, or have we just had it done?” wrote Rich Kapelke. “This year is the former — party on!”

Today’s Slice question: What’s the best advice for women about shaking hands?