Doug Clark: Franklin Elementary needs bond and levy for old-school reasons

On a totally selfish note, there’s a lot more at stake in the upcoming vote about schools than just giving my beloved alma mater, Franklin Elementary, the makeover it so desperately deserves.

Sure, passing the bond and levy for Spokane Public Schools is vital for building matters like security and technology (the bond) and learning issues like programs and staff (the levy).

Much more exciting, however, is that this could give me that slice of immortality I so desperately desire.

“We could name the principal’s office after you,” Franklin Principal Irene Gonzales said.

Ah, The Doug Clark Franklin Sanctum.

That works for me on several levels.

First, I’m pretty much Mr. Franklin.

I attended the school at 2627 E. 17th. My older brother, Dave, went to Franklin. My kids, Ben and Emily, went there, too.

I delivered a speech at Franklin in 2009, when the school cracked the century mark.

Heck, I even used to vote at Franklin before mail-in ballots sucked all the delight out of democracy.

But much more to the point, I was sent to the Franklin principal’s office so often that, quite frankly, I deserve naming rights.

(True fact: My rowdy behavior once earned me a trip to the school district office, where I was evaluated by some bozo, I mean, psychologist.)

The only downside to this dream come true is that Gonzales was laughing awfully hard when she made the offer.

Either way, this woman deserves a lot of credit.

Dressed in Seahawks garb, Gonzales treated me like a rock star when I dropped in on her completely unannounced Wednesday morning.

Voting on the bond and levy triggered my visit. (Ballots must be returned by Feb. 10.) Overhauling Franklin, I remembered, was a top priority with passage of the $145 million bond.

For purposes of transparency, I’m an obvious easy touch when it comes to funding schools. I have family members who are educators, one of whom even teaches at Franklin.

But I also wanted to see for myself what sort of shape the old South Hill landmark was in.

I can now answer that in one short word:

Needy.

Very little has changed at Franklin since I prowled its halls back in the 1950s and early ’60s.

That may sound like one of my jokes, but I’m serious.

The same behemoth boiler can be found in the same, dark basement “Boiler Room” that gave me nightmares as a little kid.

The boiler, according to its stamped lettering, was made in Portland. Probably not long after the Lewis and Clark Expedition.

The thing still works, mostly.

The boiler, said Gonzales, went down a couple of times this winter.

A plan to send for buses to keep the kids warm was scrapped at the last minute when maintenance wizards finally managed to get Ol’ Bessie working again.

Gonzales used her key to give me a peek inside the “Fan Room,” located across the hall from the boiler cave. The crusty dark interior, crammed with bricks and serious machinery, looks like something out of a Stephen King novel.

Overcrowding? You wanna talk overcrowding?

Franklin is so overcrowded that 5-year-old kindergartners have been bused to another school.

That inconvenience ends next week thanks to the addition of two more tacky portable buildings that have been installed in the lot west of Franklin.

The school’s oldest portables are more shoddy than tacky.

Those buckling, beige relics date back to the Eisenhower presidency.

Space is so coveted at Franklin that art and music classes are conducted in the echoing basement hallway that runs adjacent to the girls’ lavatory.

Speaking of commodes, Franklin doesn’t have nearly enough of them. That’s right. I’m talking about a crapper crisis.

I could go on and on about the need for more computers or that the band has classes on the gym stage while the gym is being used for lunch. But you get the idea.

Franklin Elementary is crazy overdue for this upgrade that would add another 20,000 square feet and preserve (while modernizing) the historic main building.

The amazing thing about all this is Gonzales’ attitude.

She talked about the inconvenience and the chaos with a smile and laugh.

No whining. No bitterness. I like that.

Make no mistake. Gonzales can’t wait for a renovation that would bring her students “into the 21st century.”

But “I love Franklin,” she added. “I love everything about it. It just feels right.”