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The Slice: The latest from Slice hack Paul

Let’s start with answers to the question about nicknames stemming from a person’s occupation.

“My job reference name would be Bra Lady Jill,” wrote Jill Wakeling. “I work in the intimates section of a department store and help women buy the piece of clothing they need the most yet enjoy purchasing the least.”

Next. “I own Mike’s Old Fashioned Donuts in the Spokane Valley,” wrote Mike Britton. “We have quite a large group of regular customers who come in nearly every day. We don’t always know their last names but when they have common first names like John, Bill, Bob, et cetera, we sometimes attach a reference to their job. Of course, Mike is a very common name. I am obviously Donut Mike. We have DOT Mike, Pawn Shop Mike, Truck Driver Mike, et cetera.”

Here’s one more. “My name is (sounds like I’m on ‘What’s My Line’) Frank Paquet and I’m an inside salesman for Columbia Electric Supply in Spokane. One of my key customers, Gene of Travis Pattern, always calls in and asks for ‘Frank-in-sales.’ I’m now known by my fellow workers and customers as ‘Frankensales.’ ”

Choosing a grocery checkout lane: Readers responding to The Slice’s survey named “Shortest line” as the No. 1 consideration, followed by feelings (pro or con) about the cashiers.

After that, they look for lines with the smallest total number of items to be scanned and try to avoid sneezers and coughers.

Garbage behavior: David Hollingshead is no fan of the expression “litter bugs.”

“Too cute and gives bugs a bad name.”

He likes “trash cretins” better. “Of course, I don’t want to give cretins a bad name. I suppose some may not litter.”

He wonders if Slice readers might have ideas.

Feedback: A recurring theme in readers’ criticism of my suggestion that pet owners keep their cats indoors was the notion that felines killing birds is simply nature at work. But isn’t America’s overpopulation of cats a decidedly manmade situation?

Today’s Slice question: Was it Kierkegaard or Wittgenstein who said, “I just want to get home and watch TV with my wife”?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Herb Postlewait divides sounds coming from the next hotel room into three categories.

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