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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

When it comes to ‘prom-posals,’ high school students are going to extremes

Story By The Spokesman-Review

Tyrus Goldsworthy had it planned for weeks.

He would have roses at the ready, play George Strait’s “Check Yes or No” and enlist the help of his youth group at Southside Christian Church. Members – at least 26 of them – would hold up sheets of paper with individual letters spelling out, “Becca, will you go to prom with me.”

He would hold the question mark. And Rebecca Jacobson would say yes. After all, she already had her dress.

“She wouldn’t let me see it, but I know it’s seafoam,” said Goldsworthy, who didn’t even consider asking Jacobson to prom over the phone or in a text message.

“Anybody could do that,” he said. “I wanted to do something special for her,” he said.

More and more, high school students are coming up with clever, creative and often elaborate ways to ask their special someones to the spring formal. Gone are the days of popping the question in shoe polish on a car window or tucking a simple note into a locker. The “ask” – aka the prom-posal – has become almost as big of a production as prom itself.

In this era of flash mobs, social media and reality dating shows such as “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” teens need photos to post on Facebook.

“It’s almost kind of a competition,” said Goldsworthy, an 18-year-old senior at Lewis and Clark High School in Spokane. “I wanted to have, like, the coolest way to ask.”

He didn’t want to be like this guy: “This dude walked in late to our first period, sat the poster on her desk and sat down, and I thought, ‘Come on, you can do better than that.’ ”

For him, the best prom-posals are personal and include an element of surprise. They don’t have to cost a lot of money – his plan cost about $20 – but they do take some time and coordination. As long as the answer is yes, it’s generally worth all of the effort. For seniors, prom is the last dance of their high school careers.

“You’re kind of expected to do something big,” said Jacobson, 18. “Most people make a big poster.”

Big asks sometimes involve scavenger hunts, school bands, Post-It Notes, custom fortune cookies, even horses. They often instigate an onslaught of Instagram photos, Tumblr and Pinterest pages, contests and, in some cases, viral videos. They also prompt headlines such as “Easy Promposal Ideas: 15 Simple And Romantic Ways To Ask Your Date To Prom” (Huffington Post Teen, April 18, 2013) and suspensions that have prohibited the big asker from going to the dance.

Four days before Goldsworthy surprised his girlfriend in front of their youth group, another Washington teen made headlines when he donned a vest adorned with fake explosives – because he’s “kinda the bomb” – in a stunt to ask a date to prom. She said yes. But Ibrahim Ahmad, 18, received a five-day suspension, barring him from La Center High School’s dance.

Goldsworthy had considered planting Burma-Shave-esque signs along Jacobson’s route home from school, but nixed it because, he said, “What if she went home a different way and didn’t see them?”

He enlisted the help of her best friend, Leslie Cogley, also 18 and a member of their youth group, to organize the sign holders on the big day. A week earlier, they painted the lettering during lunch at Lewis and Clark, where all three are seniors. They used Jacobson’s favorite colors: turquoise and seafoam.

The couple understood they would be going together. “Because we’ve been dating long enough, she knew I was going to ask her. But she didn’t know how,” Goldsworthy said.

Youth group seemed like the perfect place: “They’re all of her friends from when she was a kid.”

He lied and said he wouldn’t be there that night, that he had to attend a new student orientation at Spokane Falls Community College, where he’s headed in the fall.

Instead, he stopped at Liberty Park Florist and Greenhouse in Spokane’s South Perry neighborhood, where he spent about $20 on three roses: one red, two hot pink. Then, he hid out in the church youth center, texting Jacobson about how “bored” he was at the faux orientation. He asked his girlfriend’s small group leader to hold her back a bit after their meeting so other members could assemble with the signs. And he asked another leader, 25-year-old Kirsten Griffing, to play the right song when Jacobson walked in. It was her first time being part of a prom-posal.

“I think it’s really sweet,” she said. “I’m excited for them.”

Goldsworthy played the same song when he asked Jacobson to be his girlfriend seven months ago. They were in her car after catching a movie.

“I wanted to ask her out but I didn’t know how,” he said. “The idea just popped into my head to play that song. It’s not necessarily my favorite song. But lyrics go, “Check yes or no.”

When it ended, he repeated that line to her, and “She grabbed my hand and she said yes, which was pretty cool.”

Monday night, he kept out of sight, leaving Cogley in charge. “Hey guys, hey guys. Will you come hold signs for the prom-posal? Here. Hold an ‘A,’ ” Cogley said, rounding up sign holders at 7:28 p.m. “I need you to come forward and go that way.”

Soon, she had two rows of seventh- through 12th-graders – one row standing, the other kneeling.

“I think prom-posals are more about the sentimental part than the show,” said Cogley, who’s going with a friend, Jeff Johnson, an 18-year-old Ferris High School senior and a member of the youth group. With the help of a couple of friends – one to text, another to take photos – he tricked her into coming outside of her house, where he was waiting with a personalized sign in purple – her favorite color – and a music theme. She’s in choir.

“I wanted to be creative and have fun and make it memorable – or, at least, that’s what I tried to do,” Johnson said. “It adds more hype.”

Johnson held a sign for Goldsworthy’s prom-posal. He also let his friend hide in his car, where he could keep an eye on the church door. When he saw his girlfriend go in, Goldsworthy would follow and surprise her with the flowers.

They’re part of a tight-knit group of eight who are going to prom together. In the fall, they’re headed their separate ways – Goldsworthy to SFCC, Jacobson to Washington State University in Pullman where she’s interested in studying child psychology and Cogley to Western Washington University in Bellingham. Johnson is joining the U.S. Army.

“I wanted one last hoorah with the group,” he said.

Prom is Saturday at the Spokane Convention Center. The group has dinner reservations at Latah Bistro. After the dance, they’ll probably hang out and watch movies at someone’s house.

Goldsworthy and Jacobson had to make it official first. Cogley peered through the glass door, sounding the alarm at 7:36 p.m., “OK! She’s coming!”

Three minutes later, Jacobson finally entered the youth center and stood there, stunned. As planned, Goldsworthy handed her the question mark and gave her a huge hug. The crowd cheered.

Afterward, Jacobson said she thought something might be up, when both her boyfriend and best friend didn’t show up for small group that night.

But, “I had no idea it would be like this. Oh my goodness.”