Slain Sgt. Greg Moore’s widow, ex-wife comfort each other, their children

Sgt. Greg Moore’s wife and ex-wife sat side by side last week at Kootenai Health, waiting for updates on a man they each loved in different ways.

After an officer knocked on Lindy Moore’s door around 2 a.m. to tell her that her husband had been shot during a confrontation with an armed felon, she called Jennifer Brumley, his former wife, and asked her to come to the hospital. In the early morning of May 5, the women waited and wondered: Would Moore survive the head wound? Would he want to survive if he was physically impaired?

Of course he would, they decided. He had a 12-year-old son he loved deeply and a baby girl he adored.

Many tributes have been paid to Moore, the first Coeur d’Alene police officer killed in the line of duty. Friends and colleagues remembered the dedicated officer and the funny, gregarious man. But the work he put into creating a blended family – for the benefit of his kids – is also part of his legacy, the two women said.

People often asked Moore how he could be on good terms with his ex-wife, and even ex-girlfriends, while being happily remarried.

“He genuinely took pride in this dynamic. He thought more people needed to do it the way we were doing it,” said Brumley, who gave one of the eulogies at Moore’s televised funeral last weekend. “He saw it as a model for what a blended family could look like.”

The women’s cooperation at the funeral led someone to ask Lindy if their cordial relationship was real. Yes, she replied. If any other parents can learn from their example, “it’s a little bit of hope” coming out of the tragedy of Moore’s death, said Brumley, a family law attorney.

“Greg would have loved that,” said Lindy, a third-grade teacher. “He was about putting your children first.”

In an interview this week, the women talked about Moore, their own friendship, and the sibling relationship they expect to foster between Dylon – Brumley and Moore’s son – and Gemma, the 1-year-old daughter Moore and Lindy had together.

“They will be close,” Brumley said of the siblings, “and Lindy and I will be far closer than we were before.”

The women met about five years ago, when Moore started dating Lindy, a teacher at Ramsey Magnet School of Science, his son’s school. Working the graveyard shift allowed him to pick up Dylon after school, and he often stopped to talk to the principal.

“Do you have any single, hot teachers?” he asked one day. “I’m looking.”

Shortly afterward, Moore intercepted Lindy during crosswalk duty and asked her out for coffee. She liked his confidence and admired “the amazing dad” he was to Dylon. She also appreciated that Moore and his ex-wife showed up together for parent-teacher conferences.

“From the moment we met, I liked Lindy,” said Brumley, who maintained an amicable relationship with Moore after a 2005 divorce and saw a compatible partner for her ex-husband in Lindy.

“We were two alphas,” Brumley said of the man she’d known since college. “We were oil and vinegar together.”

Moore and Lindy had an easier relationship. And all of the adults were committed to making things as seamless as possible for Dylon. That allowed Moore and Lindy to get together with Brumley and her husband, Kevin Walker, for family gatherings and even vacations.

When Moore and Lindy married two years ago in a courthouse wedding, they chose Brumley and Walker for witnesses, along with Dylon. Lindy shrank from sharing the intimacy of the ceremony with other people, but she felt comfortable having her husband’s ex-wife there.

The women shared the experience of being married to a police officer, but neither worried about Moore’s safety. Lindy slept soundly during the graveyard shift. Moore was a seasoned cop with a reputation for working safely and an ability to size up situations.

“We never imagined that Greg would get shot,” said Brumley, as Lindy nodded in agreement. Compared to bigger cities, Coeur d’Alene seemed safe, the women said.

Brumley respected the officer her ex-husband had become. As a young man, he was a gung-ho cop. “I used to tease him that he’d arrest his own mother for DUI,” she said. Being a dad made him more compassionate.

“He used to call himself a street counselor,” Lindy said. “Greg kept in touch with a number of young people he’d arrested – I can think of at least a dozen. He’d check in with them from time to time to see how they were doing.”

When the early-morning knock on her door came on May 5, Lindy was disoriented. She didn’t want to answer it; it would rouse the family’s miniature Australian shepherd, who would wake Gemma. She texted Moore: “What should I do?”

The officer at the front door finally called her, telling her to answer the door. Moore had been shot on a quiet residential street while he was patrolling.

Jonathan Daniel Renfro, 26, of Rathdrum, has been charged with first-degree murder in Moore’s death. After his arrest, Renfro told officers he was afraid that Moore would discover he was violating his probation by carrying a gun, according to a probable cause affidavit.

At the hospital, the women waited together, knowing that Moore’s condition was critical but still hoping that he might somehow pull through. As daylight approached, Brumley left the hospital to break the news to Dylon.

That day, the hallway was lined with Moore’s fellow officers and close friends. Three at a time, they were allowed into his room in the intensive care unit.

“I wanted to let anyone who knew and loved Greg to be able say goodbye to him,” Lindy said. Doctors had told her that Moore didn’t have brain activity, but she found the warmth of his hand comforting. “I wanted to allow others to have that comfort.”

Moore, 43, had been on life support. Just before 6 p.m., he died.

“Mom, I wish I had more time with my dad,” Dylon told Brumley that night. “It’s not fair that I only get 12 years.”

“For Gemma, my pain is that she won’t remember her dad,” Lindy said. “For Dylon, it’s that his dad was taken from him.”

Since the shooting, the women said they’ve been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from the community, including law enforcement, people they know and strangers.

Students from Coeur d’Alene Charter Academy, where Dylon attends school, sent him notes. His coach and teammates at the Coeur d’Alene Sting Soccer Club have also been there for him, Brumley said.

For Dylon, being able to play in an 8 a.m. game Saturday before the funeral, where he scored a goal and had an assist, was a favorite moment during a difficult day, Brumley said. He also played in two games on Sunday.

Lindy has received hundreds of messages of sympathy. “They have just lifted me up,” she said. “The heart of this community is beautiful, generous and gracious.”

More than $250,000 has been raised for the Moore family through the Kootenai County Police & Fire Memorial Foundation.

“It’s amazing and I’m so grateful,” said Brumley, who plans to put Dylon’s portion of the money into a college fund.

For Lindy, the money means that she’ll be able to keep her house. She plans to return to teaching, though she may apply for a leave of absence next year.

“Being with kids has been a lifelong love of mine,” she said. “I’m honored to teach here and influence kids.”

Both women also are touched that Moore’s death led to an outpouring of support for local law enforcement.

“I love that his story is a beacon of light,” Lindy said.