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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Reliving the cinematic past

Perhaps the studios could revive a few more 1982 hit films

Move over, Kingsley. The Rock can totally pull off nonviolent resistance. (Associated Press)
Steven Rea Tribune News Service

If legendary snoozer Rip Van Winkle went to sleep in the spring of 1982 and woke up today, his beard might have stretched a hundred nasty, matted yards, but he’d probably think he had taken only a power nap: “Mad Max” is going postapocalyptic in movie theaters. “Poltergeist” is poised to scare up business at the box office. And Jerry Brown is governor of California.

OK, the new Mad Max is called “Fury Road,” not “Road Warrior,” and Tom Hardy and Charlize Theron star, not Mel Gibson. The original “Poltergeist,” which opened in June 1982, was the eighth-biggest movie of the year, an evil spirits fright fest co-scripted and co-produced by Steven Spielberg. The reboot, with Spielberg getting story credit, opens today. Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt are the spooked spouses with the daughter who gets sucked into the TV. Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams had the honors – and the horrors – back in the day.

“Back in the day” could be the Hollywood mantra right now. “Annie” came out in 1982, one of the top-10 moneymakers of the year, and “Annie” came out in very late 2014, kerplunking badly at the box office in early 2015. The original “Star Wars” (1977) and its sequel, “The Empire Strikes Back” (1980), were both re-released in theaters in 1982. On Dec. 18, J.J. Abrams’ “Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens” heads back to that far, far-away galaxy, all but certain to reawaken the franchise. Getting a jump on things: Han Solo and Chewbacca share the cover of June’s Vanity Fair with a couple of the reboot’s young upstarts.

Another classic sci-fi saga starring Harrison Ford – Ridley Scott’s “Blade Runner,” from June 1982 – is getting a Scott-produced sequel. Ryan Gosling will star; Ford will be back; shooting is slated for next summer, a 2017 release. And “Tron 3,” a sequel to 2010’s “Tron: Legacy,” in turn a sequel to 1982’s “Tron,” is in pre-production. Garrett Hedlund and Olivia Wilde are set to return.

But why stop there? Why not green-light another half-dozen 1982 gems, recycling the past for the millennials of the present? Here are some suggestions, culled from the list of top-grossing pics from way back then.

• “The Dark Crystal.” Jim Henson and Frank Oz’s trippy puppetry and Grimm-inspired animatronic creatures looked pretty cool at the time, but just think what the digital artists at Pixar could do with this tale of the Gelfling Jen and her quest for the lost shard needed to make the world whole.

Add state-of-the-art CG animation, plus the voice talent of Miley Cyrus, who brings much-needed twerking action to the murky fantasy adventure.

• “Gandhi.” Ben Kingsley won an Oscar for his portrayal of India’s avatar of peace, and Richard Attenborough took home Academy Awards for best director and picture.

A remake would need to put a new spin on things – and move a lot faster, too. Who better to energize the biopic than “Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle, who can deploy his trademark zoomy camera moves and add Bollywood dance numbers to the mix? And why not cast Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as the bespectacled Mahatma? He can still preach passive resistance, but if any of those colonial oppressors get too close, look out.

• “An Officer and a Gentleman.” Richard Gere and Debra Winger in a tale of misfit love, military discipline, and “Up Where We Belong” uplift.

Gere was born in Philadelphia, and so was Bradley Cooper, which makes the latter perfect to play naval officer candidate Zack Mayo in the remake. And for Paula Pokrifki (Debra Winger), the girl so keen to marry? Jennifer Lawrence already has made four movies with the Coop (including the forthcoming “Joy”), so why not a fifth? Lou Gossett won his Oscar for the hardcore drill instructor role. But this time, Sgt. Foley is a she: a tough-as-nails Lupita Nyong’o, which introduces a whole new “50 Shades of Grey” dominant- submissive sort of theme.

Cooper, straining under the pressure of too many push-ups, whelps to the Sarge: “You can kick me outta here, but I ain’t quitting.”

• “Tootsie Too.” Cross-dressing comedy about a struggling actor who hits the big time when he goes up for a part disguised as a woman, becoming a celebrity sensation in the process.

Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange, and Bill Murray were so good in the Sydney Pollack hit, it seems pointless not to bring them back for the sequel. Same characters, just 33 years older, with Dusty’s Dorothy Michaels and Lange’s Julie co-owners of a thriving brothel. Yes, it’s called The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which happens to be the title of the ninth top-grossing pic of 1982. Dolly Parton makes a cameo appearance.

• “The Verdict.” A boozed-up ambulance chaser seeks redemption, and Robert Downey Jr. and Matthew McConaughey were both reported to be up for the role that Paul Newman nailed in the original. Sadly, Downey was busy with his Marvel Cinematic Universe obligations, and McConaughey had that strip club to run and a new Lincoln ad to shoot, so the role was offered to Bradley Cooper.

He would do it only if the producers agreed to cast Jennifer Lawrence in the Charlotte Rampling role, but J-Law’s salary demands were too much. Instead, in a brilliant casting stroke, the part of barfly litigator Frank Galvin was offered to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. If any of those high-priced corporate lawyers get too close, look out.