The Slice: And the wieners are …

How many hot dogs could you eat in one sitting?

I’m not talking about anything resembling hot dog eating contests, which are moronic and vulgar. I am picturing scenarios where the person consuming the franks actually enjoys it.

Here’s the thing. Certain womenfolk think eating, say, six in a row is gross. But I would submit that it’s really just a matter of getting into the holiday spirit. Feel free to discuss among yourselves.

Caption contest: Last Sunday, The Slice presented a photo of a shadow on a fence created by a satellite dish. It looked like a visitor from another galaxy extending a middle finger. Here are a few readers’ captions.

“No, I do NOT want to phone home, you (bleep).” — Bill Hudson

“What E.T. really thought of this world.” — Wayne Sanders

“Hey Cable…yeah, I’m talkin’ to you!” — John Mraz

“Oh sure, you’re really brave when that tall guy is standing behind you.” — Robert Fairfax

“Phone home THIS!” — Georgie Ann Weatherby

“Up yours!” — Bill Witthuhn

“Hi.” — Troy Kapelke

“School zone, Turkey!” — Nancy Johnson

“The neighborhood salute.” — Joyce Atkinson

“E.T.’s evil twin sends a different kind of message.” — Jeffrey Neuberger

“Have seen your leaders, goodbye.” — William Robinson

“Aftermath of passing the hitchhiking alien.” — Jody Barton

“E.T., now a teenager, phones home.” — J. D. Thayer

“A single finger salute to Comcast.” — Chuck and Nancy Wilbert

“DISH Network salutes its customers.” — Don Peters

“Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.” — Mike Stimson

When you are in another part of the country and someone asks about the Lilac City: “Pitching Spokane is SOOOOO easy,” said Pat Cadagan. “The hard part is deciding where to start.”

Slice answer: “I had a girlfriend who was a vegetarian and I went without meat for those three or four months,” wrote a friend in Idaho. “When that was over I went to a steakhouse and it was as though I drank tap water in Mexico. With ice.”

Today’s Slice question: What guides your thinking as you pack for a weekend camping trip?