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The Slice: ‘It’s too nice out’ is your nice out

So it begins.

It is now, officially, the time of year when countless Spokane residents repeat, repeat, repeat their seasonal mantra.

No, not “Get off my lawn!”

The real one. The one that actually gets said over and over.

“It’s too nice out to be in here working.”

We’ve all heard it. And heard it. And heard it.

But you know, I’ve been thinking. Why should we limit that expression to weather commentary? It could be useful in almost any situation where someone wants to convey the clear message, “I’m not really listening to you.”

Recycling this line in a variety of new contexts could give that worn-out cliché vitality.

I’ll give you an example.

Let’s say you are at your workplace and a woman passes by who walks in such a way as to make part of her anatomy bounce.

You can see that one of your colleagues is about to say something to you about that visual experience. But you don’t really want to go there. So what do you do?

It’s easy. Just say the magic words.

“It’s too nice out to be in here working.”

Or maybe one of your co-workers launches into an exhaustive recounting of a round of golf. It’s clear he intends to describe his strokes on all 18 holes.

Your play? “It’s too nice out to be in here working.”

Then get up and walk outside, even if it is raining.

Slice answer (who has changed his or her mind the most times when choosing a paint color?): “My kids and I absolutely howled over this Slice question,” wrote Sue Teague. “The answer is Dave Teague (my husband). He is driving us all ‘to the drink’ with his struggle to pick out an exterior paint color for our house. He literally changes his mind every day immediately after making his mind up ‘once and for all!’

“We have to make a final decision in a couple of weeks, and this has been going on for several weeks already. All of us are going to need psychiatric help when this is over. It’s kind of funny though. Poor Dave!”

Today’s Slice question: Which kids’ sport has the best-behaved parent spectators?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. “By all that is holy, please, no,” is Jim Clanton’s take on shorts in the office.

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