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The Slice: ‘Mr. Turner’ puts family in relative terms
There is a scene in film director Mike Leigh’s “Mr. Turner” still making me smile.
The groundbreaking 19th century English painter J. M. W. Turner has just returned from a trip. He is visiting with his elderly father.
The father mentions that he encountered one of their relatives while the artist was away. The son asks about that and the father says the relation in question wants to arrange “a family gathering.”
There is a moment of silence. Then the two of them burst into laughter.
It is quite clear they regard the idea as absurd.
There’s so much truth in this moment. A fair number of people are quite happy to keep members of their extended families at a distance. It has always been that way.
But sometimes, as summer approaches, wild-eyed organizers of family get-togethers project a sense that these events are universally uplifting occasions. Which, of course, is ridiculous.
A lot of people can’t stand a fair number of their uncles and nieces. That’s just the way it is. Funneling all these folks into a park or picnic ground is not apt to change that.
Sure, sure, family is important. It’s everything, some say.
But that does not change the fact that relatives do not always get along. So I loved that scene in “Mr. Turner” because it seemed to be giving us permission to be honest.
We might care about our relatives, but that does not mean we actually want to hang out with them.
Yes, there’s a case to be made for communicating and second chances, for being a grownup and taking the high road. Some people change, after all. And wouldn’t you want your estranged cousin or sister-in-law to give you the benefit of the doubt if you had been deemed the cause of friction?
But let’s face it. Some of us simply do not like certain of our relatives and loathe being around them. Why should we pretend otherwise?
“He wants to arrange a family gathering.”
Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Today’s Slice question: Does your family have any unique rules when it comes to croquet or badminton?