The Slice: Kids’ cooking advice put in the freezer

You might be wondering.

So I’ll end the suspense.

The Slice will not be soliciting advice from little kids about preparing and serving a Thanksgiving dinner. Not this year.

I’m sure that comes as a disappointment to some readers. The children’s counsel on the holiday meal could be entertaining.

But here’s the thing. It was not really a reader service.

The fact is, quite often those kids did not know what they were talking about. Shocking, I know.

Take, for example, the lad who recommended you “Cook it on 14.”

Do you have any idea how long it would take a turkey to be completely done if the oven is set on 14 degrees?

Perhaps readers realized the advice of these youthful culinary consultants needed to be regarded as less than expert. But what if someone had been sipping the cooking sherry and mistakenly regarded those tips as legit?

That would be bad.

I mean, some of the kids’ instructions simply were not helpful.

“Get all the blood off the turkey” might be reasonable counsel, even if somewhat puzzling.

But what about “Put stuffing in, then wash it”?

Is that the proper sequence to ensure food-prep safety?

All I need is readers calling me from their bathrooms, complaining that they got sick because their Thanksgiving bird wasn’t washed until it was already full of stuffing.

No, thank you.

And then there were the tips that just made you scratch your head.

“Boil the turkey in hot water.”

What?

Oh, I suppose some of the children’s questionable cooking tips over the years could be chalked up to youthful inexperience.

Take, for instance, “Roast its legs off.”

Just what does that mean? Does that suggest overcooking the bird is the way to go?

Can you imagine your Thanksgiving host proudly striding into the dining room displaying a turkey on the platter as she or he brightly declares, “I hope it’s done – I roasted its legs off”?

Of course, some of the children’s advice was just a matter of kids being kids.

I liked the youngster who, years ago, wrote “Put smashed potatoes on the table.”

Now that’s a useful serving suggestion. Because everyone knows smashed potatoes go well with roasted-off turkey legs.

The Slice question: Besides major league professional sports, what is something big cities have that Spokane doesn’t?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Can you remember accompanying a parent to a polling place on Election Day?