Faith and Values: Be an encourager and lift up others
By them, I mean the friends and family members whose demeanor drags us down when we’re cheerful or pushes us even deeper into despair when we’re already there.
Discouragers, with their words and behavior, tend to suck energy and hope out of others. Discouragers are everywhere, it seems, and it takes little effort to be one.
Are you a discourager?
Throughout the Bible, we read of people like us who are surrounded by discouragers but also livened by loyal friends who truly strengthen them.
The Apostle Paul, for example, was largely abandoned by friends as he awaited execution in a Roman prison. But one dear friend is said to have buoyed his spirits.
“The Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me …”
That’s what an encourager does: He helps a friend in need breathe easier; she raises a friend’s weakened soul.
Are you an encourager?
Encouragers move toward need.
While most of Paul’s friends turned away from him while he was imprisoned, his good friend Onesiphorus actually sought him out.
Every one of us needs in our lives those who will move toward us with sincerity and love and helpfulness. And if every one of us has this basic need, it stands to reason that the people in our lives need us to be encouragers.
The vibe of true Christianity is one of imparting encouragement.
The loyal presence of Paul’s friend stands out, because most others were embarrassed by him or afraid to be associated with him. Persecution of Christians was spreading throughout the Roman Empire, and most church members apparently thought it too dangerous, or even a bit shameful, to be associated with a man who so openly identified with Jesus Christ.
Paul’s loyal friend disregarded the very natural pull away from someone in an awkward, embarrassing circumstance. He didn’t look the other way. For love’s sake, he could not allow Paul to be out-of-sight, out-of-mind.
True encouragers do this.
Encouragers accept others in their need without judgment or cynicism.
We can’t really encourage someone if we season their despondency with our wisdom on how easily they could avoid their difficulties, or try to guilt them out of their despair.
Saying things like, “Maybe if you hadn’t …” or “You shouldn’t feel …” tends to push others further into discouragement rather than lift them out.
Paul’s loyal friend traveled a great distance and “… when he arrived in Rome, he sought me out very zealously and found me.”
You can almost hear the excitement in Paul’s voice as he remembers this in his second letter to Timothy. “He found me!”
Onesiphorus was diligent and persistent in tracking down Paul. For some period of time, he likely left behind a job and a family that was dear to him.
That’s what encouragers do.
Encouragers are willing to spend, and be spent, for others.
It’s very possible that Paul’s friend learned such selflessness from the apostle himself. Years earlier, Paul had written this to Christians in Corinth: “I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I am loved.”
Did you catch that last part?
Encouragers are not in it for themselves.
To lift the spirits of someone you know will reciprocate immediately is no difficulty. It costs little, if anything. But to intentionally impart hope and strength to those who cannot or will not reciprocate is another matter.
This is the nature of Jesus.
And it is the love of Jesus that Christians are privileged to share when we selflessly refresh others.
Are you an encourager?
Steve Massey is pastor of Hayden Bible Church (www.haydenbible.org). He can be reached at (208) 772-2511 or steve@haydenbible.org.