Ask Mr. Dad: It’s time to make time for family time
Dear Mr. Dad: I hear people talking about how important it is to spend “quality time” with the family. I’ve got a couple of teenagers and a precocious 12-year old, and it’s practically impossible to find an activity that everyone in the family will enjoy. Plus, with two adults and three children all on different schedules, it’s even more impossible to find a time when we’re all in the same place at the same time. Do you have any suggestions?
A: One of the great ironies of modern life is that smartphones and other devices that are supposed to save us time and effort and keep us connected, actually eat up even more time and disconnect us from one another. The fact that you’re craving quality time with your family is great, and we’ll get to what that looks like in a minute. However, you first need to get the rest of your family on board. With your hectic schedules, having a leisurely family dinner every night isn’t in the cards. But there are 168 hours in a week, and making a family commitment to spend even one or two of them together is really important. Here are some ideas.
Turn off. Crazy busy adults need time to unwind, and crazy busy students need a break from homework. So agree on a time when all of you will put your electronic devices on airplane mode and turn off the TV for an hour. What you do during that time isn’t important – you could play a board game, tell jokes, make s’mores, or even just catch each other up on your day. The first few times you go gadget-free will be tough, but if you can stick with it, you may be surprised at how much you look forward to it – and that hour might just stretch into two or three.
Turn on. If giving up technology cold turkey isn’t for you, go ahead and embrace it. There are plenty of family games for Xbox, Wii, and other devices. Or just pile onto the couch and watch an episode of a favorite show. If you can’t agree on one, take turns: The kids select this week’s, the parents next week. The point isn’t the show itself, but the experience of watching it together.
Get out. There are few things that bring a family together more than camping. Choose a weekend and plan a trip (be sure to get the kids involved). It doesn’t have to be far away – chances are good there’s a campground not far from your house. Pack a tent, and sleeping bags and hit the road. Not big on roughing it? No problem. There are plenty of outdoors destinations that don’t require you to sleep on the ground.
Get sweaty. Exercise is one of the first casualties of a busy schedule, which is exactly the opposite of what it should be. Besides being good for your physical health, exercise is great for reducing stress. It also improves focus and concentration and has been shown to increase memory and creativity. A walk around your neighborhood is a good place to start. If you’re up for it, train for a marathon or a triathlon.
Keep going. Putting your family time on a regular schedule makes it easier to keep up the momentum. But the most important thing is to make it a priority and make it happen. If circumstances cause you to miss a week, okay – try to do two the next week.
Read Armin Brott’s blog at www.DadSoup.com, follow him on Twitter, @mrdad, or send email to armin@mrdad.com.