Trajedy into hope: Special Operations Warrior Foundation raises money to provide education to fallen soldiers’ children

Even on its darkest day, the Conner family carried its burden with poise and grace.

As they learned in 2007 that their son Brad had been killed in Iraq, William and Kay Conner of Coeur d’Alene wound up consoling the same chaplain who had come to deliver the tragic news.

“We’re just a very dedicated, nurturing, faithful family,” explained Conner’s younger sister, Brenda, a Spokane triathlete who wears Brad’s Special Forces dog tags whenever she trains.

In that same spirit, Day has tried to turn tragedy into hope since the death of her brother, a Sergeant Major in Army Special Forces who had earned a Purple Heart and three Bronze Stars.

He also left behind a widow, Cynthia, and three children.

Four years ago, Day decided to help the Special Operations Warrior Foundation, whose mission since 1980 has been to provide a college education for every child who has lost a parent while serving in Special Operations during an operational or training mission. That includes Army Special Forces, the Navy SEALs, Army Rangers, Air Force Pararescue and others.

Since 2005, the organization has raised more than $4.4 million.

Soon after Conner’s funeral, the Special Operations Warrior Foundation contacted Brad’s widow Cynthia offering moral support and something more tangible: help with her three children’s college costs.

As it turned out, several other Special Forces soldiers were killed at about the same time Conner was fatally wounded by an explosive device that struck his armored troop carrier. Some of their relatives formed the Warrior Tri Team, which supports the larger group by competing in triathlons while pledging to raise a minimum of $2,500 each; the funds come from family, friends and the community.

This year’s event is a half-Ironman, or 70.3 miles, on Sept. 12 in Williamsburg, Va.

Tough as that sounds, it’s been an even longer road for Day, who wanted to help but was held by back her own fears.

“I was afraid of the water,” said Day, who grew up amid the lakes and rivers of north Idaho, but suffered a near-drowning in her early 20s that left her in fear of open water. Two years passed before she worked up the courage to train.

“My husband told me, ‘You have to face your fears,’” Day said.

And so she did. But first, she contacted local triathlon club Team Blaze. “At first I couldn’t even put on a swim cap,” said Day, who with the club’s help worked her up from sprint triathlons to longer distances and finally her first half-Ironman in 2012.

During training, Day’s mind sometimes wanders back to 2007. She still marvels at the hundreds of veterans who turned out for her brother’s burial in Arlington National Cemetery.

“It was amazing, all those veterans who came for Brad,” Day said.

“I think about Brad when I train,” she said, who also wears a bracelet with his name. “It’s therapeutic, and I enjoy putting in the hours.” They total about 10 to 12 a week, which for Day is merely giving up some TV time.

The payoff is huge. Already, Brad’s son has earned a bachelor’s degree and his older daughter is midway through college.

“This means so much to those veterans’ families,” Day said.