The Slice: An apple a day might keep cat away

I know it can’t be true.

Not really.

And yet, it’s tempting to imagine.

I could swear the old fruit tree in our backyard is trying to plop an apple onto our neighbor’s cat.

Sort of like the acorn-chucking squirrels in the comic strip “Mutts.”

The tree and the feline have known each other a long time.

So far this season, the tree has taken several shots and missed each time. Well, that I know of. I’m not back there 24/7.

The cat, who is also getting up there in years, seems to take this arboreal assault in stride.

Remember Mr. Carter, the bank examiner who comes to see George Bailey on Christmas Eve in “It’s a Wonderful Life”? George explains that they have been a bit distracted at the building and loan because his brother has been officially proclaimed a war hero.

The bank examiner, taking note of the mood of celebration in Bedford Falls, deadpans “I guess they do those things.”

Well, that’s our neighbor’s cat. Nothing impresses her. When an apple falls to the ground near her, she doesn’t even change her expression. And yet her look says it all.

“I guess they do those things.”

Maybe the tree regards it as a game of tag. All I know is someone has a bunch of apples to pick up. I suppose it will be me.

If the cat is back there when I go out to toss the flavorless fruit into our green barrel, I doubt that she will help. I suppose I could give the tree an assist and gently drop a little apple on her from a few inches above.

But I have a pretty good idea what she would think of that.

Slice answers: “Undoubtedly, the most times a person is asked their date of birth, as you probably experienced recently, is before and after surgery,” wrote Vaughn Blethen of Moses Lake. “Different medical personnel come to visit you pre-op and ask your name, date of birth, and why you are there … then again, as you emerge from the fog of anesthesia, you are asked three more times by three more different people providing different care. It always makes me wonder if THEY have read my chart and know what THEY are doing.”

Today’s Slice question: Do you have a secret technique for getting a baby to stop crying and go to sleep?