Huckleberries: Urban farming comes with side of noise pollution

The tiny community of Bayview on the southern end of Lake Pend Oreille survived a terrifying wildfire during our summer of drought. But there’s at least one resident who doesn’t think she can handle the outbreak of “roostosterone.” That’s the name Jeanna Hofmeister (aka, “Baggy-eyed in Bayview”) gave the disquiet wrought by a neighbor’s rooster. In an email to Huckleberries Online ( www.spokesman.com/blogs/hbo), Jeanna describes how the neighbor decided to become an urban farmer recently, first introducing chickens and then ducks. Both of which were fine, as far as Jeanna was concerned. She found the clucking of the chickens “humorous.” And said: “The ducks sound like Lucille Ball mid-cackle, and after all, who doesn’t love Lucy?” Then, along came Foghorn Leghorn, a rooster with an over-abundance of “roostosterone.” Again, Jeanna: “It crows all day. It crows at 4 a.m. It crows at 11 p.m. Basically, all the time, anytime.” Jeanna tried contacting the owners of Foghorn Leghorn, to no avail. She’s contacted the county commissioners’ office, county planning and zoning, code enforcement and the sheriff. She thinks the rooster constitutes a “nuisance,” as defined by Idaho code. Last week, county commissioners showed an interest in her plight. But nothing has been done so far. Rooster and dumplings, anyone?

Finger steaks?

Sheriff Mitch Alexander of Shoshone County laughs when constituents ask if his jail serves steak to inmates. Considering that the Shoshone County Jail feeds an individual inmate for less than $6 per day, Mitch always answers, “No.” However, the jail does serve good food made from scratch. In a recent Facebook post, Mitch explained that homemade – or in this case, jail-made – food is better and cheaper than processed food: “A big pot of soup, or biscuits and gravy, is very tasty and can feed a large group of people without breaking a tight budget.” Mitch’s no-frill meals must meet a minimum standard of 2,500 calories per day, as well as nutrition guidelines, to keep the ACLU away. Huckleberries asked Mitch if Shoshone County uses road kill to supplement the meals and keep costs down. And got the same answer that the sheriff gives steak inquiries.

Huckleberries

Poet’s Corner: “The grandstands are packed,/the weather is great,/and Yogi’s behind/that heavenly plate” – The Bard of Sherman Avenue (“A Special Boy of Summer”) … Add Reuters news service to the growing list of major media that have reported on the new requirement that Post Falls High cheerleaders wear leggings or sweats under their uniforms during school. Reuters quotes school official Dena Naccarato as saying: “We can’t have anatomy showing” … Reason No. 87 re: why you should stay out of bars: Post Falls PD reports that some boozer was randomly punching customers at a bar last week and was rewarded for his aggressiveness by a “victim” singeing the bully’s facial hair … Clever headline on Lewiston Tribune editorial re: gross under-representation of women in appointed state and local positions in Idaho: “Nothing here that new lipstick couldn’t fix” … Quotable Quote: “Seahawks should’ve pulled the trigger on that Jimmy Graham trade. Sure could use him” – Gary Crooks, assistant S-R Opinion Page editor … If you’re missing a partial set of upper and lower dentures, you might contact Spirit Lake Elementary. A janitor found the dentures nearby and gave them to the school office … Knock-knock joke from a HucksOnline blog commenter that targets “Russell.” Who’s there? Russell wonders. “Owen.” Owen, who? “O and 2.” Ouch!

Parting shot

“Dear Lord! I look hideous in anything but spaghetti straps” – Councilman Dan Gookin, tongue firmly cheeked via Twitter re: Coeur d’Alene High Homecoming Dance code prohibition against dresses with spaghetti straps. P’haps he can model such garb at the next council meeting?