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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.

The Slice: For some critics, it’s time to turn the page

As you know, The Slice likes to help readers facing challenges.

So today, I’d like to come to the aid of a beleaguered group — readers of romance novels.

Here are some common criticisms of the genre, presented with possible comebacks.

Those books are crushingly predictable and poorly written.

Some are, no doubt. Or at least they used to be. But a few romance authors don’t deserve to be painted with that broad brush. Have you read (insert name of your favorite here)?

Well, I just can’t see spending time on escapist fantasy.

You mean like science fiction or football?

I can’t help but notice that virtually all of the readers of romance novels are women.

Yes, men are too busy devoting themselves to rereading the classics and social service volunteering. And porn. No one could ever question how men spend their time.

I’m sorry, those books just don’t appeal to a person of my taste.

That’s fine, you smug twit.

To me, those novels suggest the readers have been dissatisfied with the real men in their lives.

Ahem. Your point? Readers of romance novels enjoy the many and varied twists and turns of affairs of the heart. That is somehow worse than ogling pictures of Sports Illustrated swimsuit models?

I just prefer literary fiction.

You seem to assume that I don’t read literary fiction. Or biographies. Or whatever. Why do people who bash the romance genre assume it is all any of us read?

I wouldn’t enjoy reading books that I would be embarrassed to own up to.

I don’t read to impress other people.

But that stuff is just so simpleminded.

Again, I suspect you don’t know what you are talking about. Are you basing your opinion on the admittedly hilarious bodice-ripper covers that never had anything to do with the actual story? Look, readers enjoy the charged dynamics between men and women. They enjoy love stories. They savor the magic of a certain look from across the room. If that’s not as sophisticated as, say, a blitz package or a bass fishing show, well, I’m sorry.

Don’t you outgrow that stuff?

Oh, that would be so sad.

Today’s Slice question: On what date will the first snowflakes fall in Spokane?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. I wonder how many people have lived in both Spokane and Coeur d’Alene at different times.

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