The Slice: Learning from the actions of “Seattle resident”

Inland Northwest residents on both sides of the state line have something in common.

We all get to hear with some regularity how we could improve ourselves. The role models offered for our edification are, well, you know. The usual suspects.

So let’s start our lesson today by searching the S-R electronic archives for published appearances of “Seattle resident.” What has our old West Side pal been up to?

Well, we learned she “will discuss the book and sign copies for local fans.”

That’s nice.

We also found out he was “piloting a Greenpeace boat.”

There you go.

And he “took an 11th hour plea deal.”

These things happen.

Then it was reported that “discounts definitely draw her into stores.”

Yes, “Seattle resident” said that. And you thought we were the only people in the Northwest who loved a bargain.

But what about “Boise resident”? What lifestyle tips can we glean from the actions of the sage to the south?

Well, it turns out she “is one of the parents who bypasses vaccines.”

Some role model.

And he “has ownership interests in a chunk of downtown Boise.”

Sweet.

But it turns out he “faces three charges.”

Innocent until proven guilty, I suppose.

We read that “Boise resident” was overheard “debating the pros and cons of the 445-yard par-4 hole.”

What? Sorry. Nodded off.

But this is my favorite. He “told the Senate Transportation Committee that young people in his neighborhood are leading a ‘terrorist existence’ by installing so-called ‘glass pack’ mufflers that increase power but do little to reduce engine noise.”

Rage on, brother. But I’m not sure there’s much for us to learn from that over-the-top rant.

We already know how to shout “Get off my lawn!” up here.

Reasons AAA baseball is never coming back: 1. Economics of it don’t pencil out. 2. Kids today get bored with baseball once the novelty wears off, so trying to drag them to a bunch of games over the longer AAA season isn’t going to fly. 3. The Spokane of 2016 isn’t the Spokane of 1971. 4. (Your reason here.)

Today’s Slice question: Should two people who totally disagree about the appeal of camping get married?

A) Yes, if that’s really the only thing about which they don’t see eye-to-eye. B) No. This is Spokane. C) Sure, if they both realize marriage involves a certain amount of not getting your way. D) Define “camping.” E) Other.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Are weekend staffers at your place of business pawing through your work station even as we speak?