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The Slice: A region slathered in super glue
People move here thinking they will stay a few years and then take it on down the road.
There will be more money to be made somewhere else. Zestier social action. Fewer co-workers who might as well be named Bubba. Better selection of nonstop flights.
But then they wind up staying here forever. It’s an old story.
Why? How does that happen?
Here are The Slice’s 21 theories. Do any of these sound familiar?
21. You realize you are always happy to come home after a trip.
20. You can still get to where the pavement ends.
19. The cross-section of personalities here turns out to be 2 percent more tolerable than anywhere else you have lived.
18. Every time you’re feeling down about the place, someone, often a stranger, does something to lift your spirits.
17. Friendship seeps into your life.
16. You realize you have started to take for granted things visitors from out of town rave about.
15. Other members of your family move here.
14. There’s something in the water.
13. Your first boss in Spokane tells you the secret to life.
12. Spokane is a great place to raise hackles.
11. You were cool once but then the spouse and kids thing happens at warp speed and, presto, you’re standing on your porch staring at a brown spot in your lawn.
10. A teacher, nurse or neighbor helps your child on a fateful day and you never forget it.
9. You overhear your daughter talking to her dog and realize this is home.
8. Radon and inertia.
7. You wake up one day and find your daily routine has begun to fit you like a well-worn sweater.
6. You realize you just couldn’t deal with high humidity again.
5. Things that mattered then don’t matter now.
4. You can’t imagine what you would do if you couldn’t complain about life in the Inland Northwest.
3. You find there are dozens of Spokanes and you plug yourself into the ones that are most comfortable for you.
2. You start out thinking Spokane needs you and then come to realize it’s the other way around.
1. You wake up one day and understand that you regard Spokane in the same way you might a quirky relative, with exasperation and love.
OK, your turn.
Today’s Slice question: How do you really feel about lilacs?
Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. How many beer cans are at the bottom of area lakes?