The Slice: Getting grownups to cough it up

Kids who delivered newspapers and then went door-to-door to collect payments every month learned a lot about adults and money.

If you doubt it, just ask a former newspaper carrier.

Where do kids learn those life lessons today?

Let’s move on.

Feedback on felines (Thursday’s Slice): “As staff to three cats, it is guaranteed that pretty much every night is a three cat night, at least on my side of the bed,” wrote Kim Bush. “My husband is not quite so accommodating. With a combined weight of around 38 pounds, it can get quite warm and cozy in the winter. I have been known to have one cat on each hip and one on my chest. During the summer, the cats tend to find cooler sleeping arrangements.”

Anything would be an improvement: Janet Culbertson requested the help of Slice readers.

“I belong to a women’s group that has mostly younger ladies. They call ‘us’ crones, which to them is OK but to ‘us’ is derogatory. Can any of your readers come up with a better word for women of a certain age?”

Slice answer: In the matter of how many flights of stairs you need to get decent wintertime workouts, Bekki Sherwood said two can be adequate.

“I am retired, but find that my home has enough stairs for me to get some good exercise when I am motivated. We have a basement and upstairs, so the two sets of stairs make a good ‘stairmaster’ for me. Slippers and night clothes make a great workout ensemble.”

In the matter of people claiming to have watched the first Super Bowl on TV: “Having grown up in Southern California, I have often pondered a similar question,” wrote Curt Olsen. “Seems as though I was always running into someone who claimed to have witnessed one of Sandy Koufax’s four no-hitters. Even an unnamed family member often claimed such.”

Curt has his doubts.

Warm-up question: What happened when your young child’s beloved stuffed animal got lost and you tried to replace it with a look-alike?

Today’s Slice question: What’s the best way to avoid coming down with a case of the Spokanthrax?

A) Avoid people. B) Don’t touch anything. C) Never stop washing your hands. D) Hold your breath for the duration of Colds and Flu Season. E) Instruct your child or grandchild not to come in contact with any disease-vector youth slathered with pathogens at school or day care. F) Wear a head-to-toe hazmat suit at all times. G) Eat lentils. H) Other.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Shoplifters’ excuses tend to be implausible.