The Slice: This is going on your permanent record

Here’s a June question for you:

If you were a substitute teacher at this time of year, what would you do to maintain order in your classroom?

Let’s move on.

Things in your home not up to code: “Mainly me,” wrote Jack Thompson.

How you got off with a warning and not a traffic ticket: Sally English said the key seemed to be having a car (1967 Mustang) that was more interesting to the police officer than the details of her minor infraction.

Lessons learned from your fast-food job: “Knock before you go into the storage room.” – Lorri Stonehocker

“Make sure you put the meat on the hamburger so you don’t have to hear a customer say, ‘There’s no burger in my burger.’ ” – Joanie Eppinga

“I learned I never wanted to work at those places again.” – Joan Matlack

What happened after you warned someone he or she was going to get a sunburn: Carrie Webbenhurst and several others reported that the person did, in fact, proceed to get a sunburn.

If you were Spokane’s fashion czar: May Cotton would ban the wearing of flip-flops. “Can’t help but worry about those kids’ poor feet after all my years in occupational safety.”

Your staff of life: “Chocolate,” said Jim McCall.

It helps here to know your Newhart references: “Darrell and I have lived on the same street for over 10 years,” wrote Ralph Laws of Cheney. “Recently we were talking and found that his cousin is married to my cousin in the Bitterroot Valley. In fact he, Darrell, is named after my cousin Darrell. Now I can say this is my cousin Darrell and this is my other cousin Darrell.”

Reality of aging: In the matter of whether you know more people who are alive or more people who are now dead, retiree Tim Wink said preparing for cemetery visits over the long weekend put that question in stark perspective.

If you got to program ice cream truck music: Two songs both called “Ice Cream Man,” one performed by Van Halen and one from Modern Lovers, each got votes.

Today’s Slice question: What specific incident made you glad you carry a handkerchief?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Kleone Deehr, George X. Hale and several others knew that the classic movie referred to down here a few days ago was “Double Indemnity.”