Annie’s Mailbox: Daughter worries for abused mom

Editor’s note: Writers Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar are on vacation this week. This column is adapted from a 2009 Annie’s Mailbox column.

Dear Annie: In three years, I will be away at college. I am concerned because Mom has a boyfriend with a major anger problem, and he throws tantrums and gets abusive.

Mom has been in this relationship for a few years, and I’m afraid when I leave he will do some serious damage and I won’t be there to protect her. She has been going to therapy, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I love my mother and want the best for her. How can I convince her to get away from this man? – Concerned Daughter

Dear Concerned: It is very difficult for some women to get out of an abusive relationship, and the longer they are involved, the more they believe they deserve to be treated poorly. It’s good that Mom is getting therapy. She obviously needs it, and we hope it will help her find a way out. We know you are worried about her, but you are not responsible for her choices. If you witness this man being physically abusive or if he should come after you, call the police immediately. You also can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (thehotline.org) at (800) 799-SAFE (800-799-7233) and ask if there is anything more you can do.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, in care of c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Thi3rd St.reet, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. You can also find Annie online at Facebook.com/AskAnnies.