Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Carolyn Hax: Annoyed neighbor has sound point

Washington Post

Dear Carolyn: My family is very lucky to live in a big house with a big front porch, backyard, and a second-floor back porch. My preteen daughter especially loves that back porch. In the summer she spends whole days out there listening to the radio and yakking on her cellphone. This is great for the rest of the family – she is not bothering her brothers and sisters, or nagging me to drive her to the movies. And my daughter is happy!

My neighbors (behind us) tell me that the way the porch is built, it acts as a huge megaphone or band shell. They say that even normal conversation or music played at a reasonable volume is broadcast loud and clear to their backyards, through their open windows, and even to their front porches!

My neighbors want me to make this second floor porch a quiet zone; my daughter’s conversations and music are intruding into their homes and backyards, and interfering with their right to listen to their own music or just enjoy peace and quiet.

I say that this is my daughter’s home and she has a right to do what makes her happy.

Who is right and what should I do?

– Frustrated and Annoyed in Baltimore

You want what you want and to hell with everyone else, as long as it bothers someone other than you. This is the lesson you’re OK with teaching your kid?

With neighbor-noise issues, you can usually go one of three ways: Dig in because it’s your house; give in because you don’t want to start a war with people you see every day; try to find a compromise – it’s your house, but you’d hate it if they crashed your peace and quiet.

Again: What path do you want your kids to follow?

You can buy your daughter headphones, and you can research sound-absorbing strategies to make your porch less of an amphitheater. These are so much easier in the long run than thinking only of yourself.