The Slice: Looks like a 100 percent chance of winter

You’ve heard that the Inland Northwest weather forecast for the winter of 2016-17 calls for an abundance of snow.

So what do you plan to do?

A) Begin packing on a layer of fat in anticipation of denning up for the winter. B) Go full “Jeremiah Johnson” lifestyle. C) Flee the region.

D) Plan to read several books about disastrous polar expeditions, just to get in the mood. E) Hire a footwear consultant. F) Sketch out some rough schematics in preparation for construction of snow forts and snow fixer-uppers.

G) Establish a survival hierarchy by assigning weather-conditions color codes to your various coats and parkas. H) Inform your preschool grandson that snowsuits with the flexibility of a body cast are in his near future. I) Hunker down and start quoting Ned Stark from the first season of “Game of Thrones.”

J) Decide once and for all if it’s “snow blower” or “snow thrower.” K) Ask yourself: Am I going to embrace an active winter lifestyle or am I going to watch movies on my big-screen TV? L) Plan to affix an orange foam ball to the cat’s tail so you will be able to find her when she is outside pretending to be “Muffy, Snow Leopard of the Himalayas.”

M) Start referring to loved ones as “abominable.” N) Sign up for a time-share on the Island of Misfit Toys. O) Spend a lot of time talking about tires.

P) Power snacking. (See A.) Q) Remind your workplace colleagues that cannibalism should be regarded as a last resort. R) Declare that you aren’t going to worry until the snow accumulation is halfway up the Riverfront Park Clocktower.

S) Haul out your old “Calvin and Hobbes” collections and study the snowmen. T) Start getting mad in anticipation of city snow plows burying a stretch of sidewalk you just shoveled. U) Pretend you are Rosemary Clooney and belt out “Snow” from the movie “White Chirstmas.”

V) Start rehearsing your impression of W.C. Fields commenting on whether it is a fit night out for man or beast. W) Don’t think about the forecast’s implications for the hills you drive up and down every day. X) Question: Is seasonal torpor the right wintertime personality for you?

Y) Imagine what the downtown waterfalls will be like next spring. Z) Other.

Today’s Slice question: In what year did trick-or-treating peak?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Tim Wink’s favorite local ghost sign is a fading World War II era “V” for victory painted on a brick building at Boone Avenue and Cedar Street.