Once upon a time, Simon and Garfunkel sang: “Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio; a nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo, woo, woo.” Joltin’ Joe, of course, had gone away (with a 56-game hitting streak that remains the gold standard for Major League Baseball hitters).
So Robert Cliff, of Coeur d’Alene, has turned to DiMaggio’s teammate Yogi Berra to get him through this fall of our nation’s discontent.
To drown out the constant vitriol and daily gotcha revelations surrounding the 2016 presidential election, Robert is meditating on the classic non sequiturs of the late New York Yankee catcher. Such as: “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.” And: “The future ain’t what it used to be.”
Aren’t you feeling better already?
Huckleberries will leave you Yogi’s reaction to DiMaggio’s marriage to Marilyn Monroe: “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.” Now, don’t you wonder what Yogi would say about Trump vs. Clinton?
Why he loves Idaho
Sheriff Mitch Alexander of Shoshone County is sporting his first pair of eyeglasses ever, thanks to Dick Vester of Vester Eye Clinic, who mayors Wallace in his spare time. Says Mitch, of life before glasses: “My arms were almost too short to read the small print” … Sightem: “Hillary for Prison 2016” – large sign on the side of a vehicle parked at the survivalist store along Government Way in Hayden during the noon hour Tuesday. It’s likely that the owner of the car won’t accept the results of the 2016 presidential election – unless Donald Trump wins … Another reason why Keith Boe of Post Falls loves Idaho. Last week, he’s at Staples in Coeur d’Alene’s Ironwood Square when a clerk offers him a bag for his toner purchase. Keith declines. Responds the clerk: “Good, save all them woodland creatures, more to fish, more to shoot, more to eat that way.” Ah, make that plastic.
If only the nation’s 69 million eligible millennials voted, SurveyMonkey calculates that Democrat Hillary Clinton would swamp Republican Donald Trump in the electoral college vote 504 to 23. Even Utah would go blue. But not Idaho. The Gem State would be one of five in which millennials would follow their elders and Trump to resounding defeat … The Idaho Statesman of Boise has endorsed Democrat James Piotrowski over tea party poster boy Raul Labrador from the 1st Congressional District. Why? In a word, “No.” Too many “no” votes from Labrador, too little impact. …“333: Only half evil” – a decal on an orange VW on Government Way in Coeur d’Alene on Tuesday … A political observer who met the two candidates in the only contested Kootenai County commissioner race assesses: “(Independent Russ) McLain reminds me of Eeyore (of Winnie the Pooh fame). He listened to what I had to say, but seemed a bit of a downer. (Republican Bob) Bingham, on the other hand, is ALL about Bob. Me, myself and I.” Now there’s something you won’t find in a voters’ guide … How many of you, who are so worked up about the Clinton-Trump not-so-presidential race, know the names of at least one candidate in three races down ticket? … Signs of the times: Cindy Hval of the S-R Front Porch can’t figure out whether Spokane panhandlers are getting more creative or creepier. Examples she spotted last week: “I will kidnap your ex for spare change.” And: “Spread some cheese on this old cracker from Wisconsin.” More creative AND creepier.
In Idaho, the GOP-dominated Legislature is trotting out a constitutional amendment (HJR 5) that’s similar to the one the voters rejected two years ago. The amendment would give legislators veto-proof power over the rules governing state agencies.
Attorney General Lawrence Wasden called it a “power grab.” The Lewiston Tribune compared the amendment to a pig. “For this election, legislators took the same pig, gave it a new name (HJR 5), cleaned it up and drenched it in perfume to mask the bad smell. But it’s still a pig, and we’re recommending that voters say ‘no.’ again.” P’haps, legislators should have put lipstick on this pig, too?