Doug Clark: The Chinese Lantern Festival in Riverfront Park is a perfect antidote for political poison

Sick of Trump. Sick of Hillary.

Sick of the mayor and his latest sleight-of-hand police chief swindle.

What’s a guy to do to get away, to take a mental timeout from all the treachery and political overload?

I discovered the perfect antidote just after sunset in the middle of Spokane’s crown jewel, Riverfront Park.

Oh. My.

The sun set and the dragons and pandas and banana chorus lines blossomed before my eyes, glowing like those old color-rich jukeboxes you used to see in every bar and dance joint.

Only bigger – much, much bigger.

The Washington State Chinese Lantern Festival is a wonder to behold.

“I feel like a little kid,” Betty Hubbard told me.

“Every time I turn my head I’m more amazed.”

Hubbard, like me, was soaking in the enormous nine-towered porcelain pagoda when I asked her to share her thoughts.

An eye-popper of a centerpiece, the giant structure is comprised of some 70,000 pieces of fine china from China: intricately stacked plates and cups and saucers.

You really have to see it to believe it.

“This is way more than what I thought it would be,” added Hubbard’s friend, Susan Owens. “I had no idea that this (festival) was so extraordinary.”

I’ll second that emotion.

I’m late to the party on this. I heard about the lantern festival’s debut last year but paid it no mind.

Current events and curiosity converged on Tuesday night. So I drove downtown, paid 15 bucks and took in one of the best spectacles I’ve seen since, I don’t know, maybe that little shindig we threw back in ’74.

Whatever. The festival, which runs daily through Oct. 30, is a must-see, especially if you have kids.

Every year so much gets made about Coeur d’Alene’s boardwalk Christmas lights.

Yeah, they’re cool.

But hotelier Duane Hagadone should take a gander at what’s going on. If he does he’ll realize he has to up his display game considerably if he ever wants to come close to this.

Each one of the lantern festival’s three-dimensional creations is a handmade art piece in light, color and silk.

The largest dragon is reportedly just shy of 200 feet.

I was especially taken by a display that featured a behemoth orange and green fish. It seemed to float among a garden of glistening water plants.

There are realistic-looking dinosaurs that growl and move. There are tunnels with deep blue arches and hanging lanterns.

A movie on how the displays are created plays at the IMAX. I skipped it not wanting to know how the magic is made in this kingdom. Maybe next time.

After an hour or so of gazing at lighted peacocks and Chinese figures and mushroom forests, I found a seat on a park bench and caught the 8:30 p.m. show at the University of Idaho Confucius Institute stage.

This was a Chinese variety show starring expert martial artists, a contortionist, yo-yo flippers and a dancer who could instantaneously change faces.

“We have face changers, too,” I told Janet Michael, the woman sitting next to me.

“They’re called the City Council!”

Michael and her pal Marilyn Allen were the unexpected surprises on this night of surprises. Recognizing me from the paper, the two senior delinquents were soon telling me about their love of Elvis and showing me their tattoos.

Michael, 73, has 16 tattoos if you’re counting at home. Allen, 70, is not far behind with an even dozen.

“And I’m not done yet,” vowed Marilyn, who got her first tattoo at age 60.

I couldn’t get away without showing them the trailer that was inked onto my right shoulder while covering a tattoo convention.

They especially enjoyed the part where I submitted the $140 tattoo bill on my company expense report.

What a night.

A few minutes later found me heading out of the park past merchants and more dinosaurs and marveling about what a terrific experience the Chinese Lantern Festival turned out to be.

Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or by email at dougc@spokesman.com.