The Slice: Now’s the time for fools to rush in

Editor’s note: Paul Turner has suited up and joined the S-R team covering the Final Four in Arizona. In his absence, the Today section is recycling a few Slice classics. Today, the column that ran on April 1, 2006:

See if you can spot the April Fools item in today’s Slice.

Welcome to National Kite Month: Yes, it starts today. And its arrival has me thinking interactively.

I’ve mowed a reader’s lawn. I’ve played catch with readers. I’ve attended their parties. I’ve skated on their backyard ice rinks.

But I’ve never flown kites with a Slice reader.

So let me know if you and your kids plan to celebrate spring by launching a kite. Maybe I’ll join you.

Knowing how to make an entrance: The Slice’s recent discussion of shoes-off policies in some local homes prompted a note from Peggy Jensen. “My son Jeff and his girlfriend have taken the policy one step further,” she wrote.

It seems the couple’s dog, Sisca, waits by the door to have her paws wiped off before coming in.

Jensen sent a picture of the canine. Sisca has an appealing face and looks like a lab/retriever mix.

“They bought her a pair of booties, but she wants no part of them.”

Before the era of “whassup”: Marguerite Beyersdorf noted that there was a time when a “calling card” was not about telephone-service credit.

She’s right. And her note (with a lovely calling card included) reminded me of the play/movie “Harvey.”

Remember how Elwood P. Dowd was always giving people his card? There was a certain elegance to that.

Ask if they have any of the Halle Berry or Laura Petrie lines in stock: My neighbor Janice Hall mailed me a page from a newspaper advertising insert from ShopKo.

One particular boldfaced line of type caught her eye: “Women’s bottoms on sale.”

That, Hall reckoned, could make for a heck of a store event.

“Mine’s 66 years old and I sure could use a new one,” she wrote.

Looking ahead to next week: Thursday is National Tartan Day, celebrating the links between Scotland and America.

Who has the Inland Northwest’s most beguiling Scottish accent?

Odd but true: It’s not for me to be making the announcement. But a Spokane TV news personality who was told that she could never get pregnant has proven the doctors wrong. Congratulations.

Just wondering: Now that polygamy is legal in Idaho, are divorce lawyers anticipating some interesting custody battles?

Today’s Slice question: What if Batista’s shot had gone in?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Yes, the polygamy item is the phony.