All I know about the Academy Awards is, Meryl Streep would have a better chance at winning another Oscar on Sunday if she hadn’t starred in “Florence Foster Jenkins” and instead made “Florence Griffith Joyner.”
She’s such a great actress? She can really stretch? Let her play that role.
Of course, Hollywood may vote her another statue anyway just so she can reprise her Golden Globes speech.
When it comes to the big show of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science of Reviling the President, we know there will be much hand-wringing about Donald Trump – and none at all about the fact that sports films haven’t had a fair shake since Harold Abrahams and Eric Liddell showed up the Yanks in “Chariots of Fire.”
Just look at these great sports movies that didn’t even get nominated this year:
The Accountant – With the athletic department’s cumulative deficit topping $50 million, Washington State figures maybe it’s time the $3 million being doled out to the football coach would be better spent on a creative CPA.
La La Land – The San Diego Chargers decide to pack up and move to a city where no one cares about them to play in a soccer stadium no one will go to.
Silence – Idaho quarterback Matt Linehan passes the Vandals to a Famous Potato Bowl win and then tries out his broadcast major chops by calling his school president “tone deaf” in a radio interview, finally apologizing in the postgame press conference.
Captain Fantastic – Washington State running back Jamal Morrow is the king of winning pregame coin flips.
My Life as a Zucchini – The NBA tells Knicks owner James Dolan he has to work out his problems with Charles Oakley man-to-man behind closed doors.
Manchester by the Sea – After winning their first MLS championship and feeling full of themselves as the only true brand of American soccer, the Seattle Sounders change their name.
Fences – The Seattle Mariners let Nori Aoki escape to Houston via waivers, figuring their left-field defense will be improved even if they don’t put a player out there.
Hidden Figures – Washington State and its conference brethren keep searching for the TV revenue commissioner Larry Scott promised they’d see from Pac-12 Networks.
Kicks – Duke basketball star Grayson Allen redefines the idea of “moving your feet” on defense.
The First Monday in May – Those after-Bloomsday aching muscles bring office production to an all-time low in Spokane.
The Fundamentals of Caring – College football stars Christian McCaffrey and Leonard Fournette underscore how meaningful bowl season is by skipping games to prepare for the NFL draft.
The Salesman – Bill Walton manages to work in “Conference of Champions” between every dribble of Pac-12 basketball telecasts, even though the league hasn’t produced an NCAA basketball titlist or undisputed football national champion in 20 years.
Suicide Squad – Pepperdine, Santa Clara and Loyola Marymount lead a push for West Coast Conference expansion, looking for company in the misery of having to play Gonzaga twice a year.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – The Seahawks use 11 running backs in 2016 and still don’t get what Marshawn Lynch used to give them.
Trolls – Mariners backup catcher Steve Clevenger tweets himself out of baseball with a string of racist and inflammatory rants.
Hell or High Water – Between Ryan Lochte and raw sewage in the rowing lagoon, that was quite the 2016 Olympics in Rio.
Pete’s Dragon – Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman goes nuclear on head coach Pete Carroll and offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell for the playcalling on the goal line.
Zootopia – The Ryder Cup comes to Minnesota, and the animals come out of their cages to heckle the Euros.
I Am Not Your Negro – Colin Kaepernick takes a knee for the national anthem, and America still can’t figure it out.
Deadpool – College basketball fans see Gonzaga on the No. 1 seed line of their office brackets and know they’ll be damned if they pick the Zags and damned if they don’t.
Money Monster – Mike Leach takes Washington State’s fall football camp to Lewiston. Jim Harbaugh’s taking Michigan’s spring practice to Rome.
Central Intelligence – The WIAA adopts the RPI for seeding its state basketball tournaments, even as college basketball understands it’s time to phase out the formula.
Patriots Day – Seahawks coach Pete Carroll thanks Falcons offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan for taking him off the Super Bowl hook.
The Finest Hours – Anytime San Antonio Spurs coach Greg Popovich talks about the president.
Why Him? – Vin Scully’s retiring? And not Rick Rizzs? Explain.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – Kyrie Irving thinks Earth is flat? Minnesota suspends 10 players for its Holiday Bowl game with Washington State, the Cougs still get flattened and then the Gophers fire their coach? A couple of legislators want fans to be able to pack heat into Washington sports stadiums? WTF, indeed.
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