The Slice: They seem to have an oral fixation

OK, let’s review the protocols for preventing yellow jackets from stinging your tongue or lips.

1. When in the backyard drinking a beverage from a can, keep your eyes on the can’s opening 100 percent of the time. Yes, this will reduce your sociability, but better that than letting a yellow jacket slip into the can unnoticed.

Some prefer to simply place a thumb over the can’s opening between swigs. But let me ask you. Where has that thumb been?

OK, that’s about it. Let’s move on.

This date in Slice history (1997): If you have a powerful hankering to see acres of exposed flesh and lots of tattoos, what local event is your best bet?

Today’s Slice question: Reader Homer James told about meeting Marilyn Monroe. Of course, he didn’t know who she was at the time.

It was back in 1960. School was out for the summer. And Homer’s dad, a truck driver, had left him for a few hours with his aunt, who managed a Sambo’s restaurant in Sparks, Nevada. Homer was 10.

“It was well past midnight and I was curled up on one of the Sambo’s red Naugahyde booths. I was awoken by a woman in jeans and a print blouse. A flowered scarf covered most of her blonde hair.

“She looked right down at me, dropped her hand on my head and said, ‘Well, what a cute little man you are.’ ”

Marilyn, who was in Nevada filming “The Misfits,” sat down in the booth for a few minutes.

“I saw my aunt smiling as she walked by us. She knew then what I will never forget. I had just been touched by Marilyn Monroe.”

So here’s the question. What would you have said to the actress/sex symbol, if you had been Homer?

A) “Oh, you poor, troubled girl. I wish I could ease your pain.” B) “Touch me again. I don’t mind. Really, I don’t.” C) “You don’t look bad in those jeans, ma’am.” D) “I’m meeting you now? Now, when I’m only 10! Sit right there for a second, Miss Monroe. I’m going to go invent a time machine and do something about our age difference.” E) “Want to see my seven-year itch?” F) “Of all the Sambo’s in Nevada, you had to walk into this one.” G) “Tell me your tale of woe, Norma Jean. I’m a good listener.” H) “Shhh. Don’t say a word, baby. Just lay your head on my shoulder and let me hold you.” I) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Where in Spokane were you most surprised to encounter the unmistakable aroma of marijuana?