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The Slice: Didn’t Robert DeNiro play this role in a movie?

Sun., July 16, 2017

The last time I was an intern, I was in the first semester of my senior year in college.

That was in 1976, in Flagstaff, Arizona. My internship was spent working as a reporter for the daily newspaper there.

I liked to think of myself as a hard-bitten journalist. But I wasn’t really very grizzled.

We used manual typewriters and staffers calmly yelled as deadline approached.

One of the editors had been to a conference in Coeur d’Alene that summer and he got this faraway look in his eyes when he talked about the lake.

How did I like it? Well, I’m still doing this work more than 40 years later.

But times being what they are, it might be wise for me to try another internship.

So consider this my application for a one-day tryout at your business.

I’m serious. I’ll pick the most promising invitation and show up at someone’s front door on the appointed day. I’ll even wear a tie, if necessary.

But first, let me ask a few questions. You know, so I’ll know what I’m getting myself into.

Does the position require wearing a hard hat?

When’s my first break?

Will there be a drug test, man?

Has your business ever had a “senior” intern before?

If I learn your computer system in the morning, what are the chances all that knowledge will be obsolete by the afternoon?

Will I be expected to sit next to someone who wears way, way too much perfume/cologne? Will I sit next to someone who never stops talking?

When can I expect my first performance evaluation?

Where are we going for lunch?

Does your business have a mission statement? Is it laughable?

Are people allowed to say what they really think in meetings or is the boss a my-way-or-the-highway kind of leader?

Has The Spokesman-Review ever written about your workplace?

Will I be issued a company softball team shirt?

Are young staffers more apt to regard me as a dinosaur or a wise old guru?

How might my journalism skill set assist me in helping your enterprise achieve its goals?

If I snort derisively when someone brings up planned team-building exercises, will that be held against me?

OK if I park my bike inside?

Is there a dress code?

Any restrictions about how I decorate my work station?

When can I expect my first raise?

Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest couple is most sharply divided over camping?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Who comes closest to wearing sunglasses every waking moment?

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