Ask Mr. Dad: How to save your husband’s life

Dear Mr. Dad: My husband is a smart guy, but pays zero attention to his health. I resent that the responsibility has fallen to me, but I don’t have much of a choice. What can I do to help him – and to keep my son from becoming just like his dad?

A. Your husband is far from alone. Men’s lackadaisical attitude toward their health contributes to the fact that they’re 90 percent more likely than women to die of heart disease, 20 percent more likely to die of a stroke, and 40 percent more likely to die of cancer. Overall, women now outlive men by about five years.

The good news is that half of male premature deaths are preventable. But to accomplish that, men will have to make some serious lifestyle changes – something too few are willing to do – in part because from the time we’re little, we’re raised up not to cry, complain, or show signs of weakness.

Ironically, women pay a price for men’s poor health: because you live longer, you may see your husband and/or son suffer or die unnecessarily, leaving you to live on without their love, support, and companionship. Here’s what you can do right now to help.

Learn about men’s health

Because they often skip routine medical appointments, many men never learn that they have a deadly disease until it’s too late. Every year, over 160,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer and about 30,000 die (nearly the number of women who die of breast cancer). Caught early, through either a digital rectal exam (DRE) or a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) blood test, this disease is nearly always curable.

Testicular cancer is one of the most common cancers in men ages 15 to 35 and, like prostate cancer, is highly curable if caught early. But too few men know that they should examine their testicles monthly, and even fewer know how to do so.

Know the warning signs

Does he get up five times a night to go to the bathroom or have you noticed blood in his urine? This can be an indication of bladder, colon, kidney or prostate problems.

Erectile dysfunction is an incredibly common – and potentially serious – condition that men generally fail to discuss with their doctors. More than half the time, it’s caused by a physical problem: atherosclerosis, high blood pressure, diabetes, or low testosterone levels. So if you want to make love and your husband says he has a headache, pay attention.

Check him out

Self-exams don’t have to be done by yourself, so why not ask your husband to help you with your monthly breast exams while you help with his testicular exams?

While you’re at it, do a head-to-toe skin check on one another. Women tend to get skin cancers on their hands, face, and legs; men get them on their backs, where they can’t see them.

Get him to the doctor

It’s critical to get your husband (and son) into the habit of regular medical check-ups. Changes over time are key in assessing health. Encourage him to make his own appointments, but if he won’t, do it yourself. (Doctors I’ve interviewed tell me that at least 25 percent of appointments for male patients are made by women.)

Promote a healthy lifestyle

The three most effective things you can do are to put your husband on a low-fat, high-fiber diet, help him get regular exercise, and get him to quit smoking. These steps can drastically reduce the chances that he’ll succumb to the leading causes of death: heart and pulmonary diseases, cancer, stroke, and diabetes.

Be patient

The goal here is to get your husband to take better care of himself, and to get your son to start building good habits. These things take time. But with each small change, you’ll improve the quality and increase the length of the life you have with the men you love.

June is Men’s Health Month. For more info visit http://menshealthnetwork.org.