So my son-in-law Okie Doke is riding home on the Portland MAX train when an extended family of Idahoans climbs aboard. Okie Doke, an Oklahoma City native, begins texting as soon as he sees the ballcaps, camouflage and matching T-shirts indicating the family is from Lewiston.
Okie Doke and I play this game. We try to out-do each other in proving that our state – Oklahoma versus Idaho – is stranger, in a right-wing sense. (We both concede that Portland is strangest of all in a left-wing sense.)
First, Okie Doke, who rarely makes eye contact on a MAX train, texts that the Idahoans are talking to EVERYONE – his caps, not mine – on the train, including sketchy folks they shouldn’t be chatting up.
Then, a little Spudhead in the group of 13 announces that he wants a brownie. And Granny Clampett proclaims loudly with a har-har in her voice and a roll of the eyes: “Oh, you don’t really want a brownie from Oregon.” The Portlanders are being polite and engaging in light conversation with the intruders.
Okie Doke’s final report before he abruptly leaves the train is this: “Oh man, the most ‘Idaho’ of the group (silent, stoic father) just put his iPhone IN AN ACTUAL GUN HOLSTER on his belt (again, Okie Doke’s caps, not mine). That’s kinda scary.”
Score another one for Idaho Weird.
State Rep. Paul Amador, R-Coeur d’Alene, and his wife, Julie, were walking along the trail that runs past Ramsey Park in Coeur d’Alene when the eggs began showing up. Raw eggs in the shell. And they had messages on them. One said: “94% = B. Another: “Dude, you won’t.” And another: “Throw me.” There were dozens of eggs scattered around the park. Amador suspects that the person who is behind the egging might be a disgruntled student who received a B grade for 94 percent work. Ultimately, the freshman Republican sent a message to Mayor Steve Widmyer “to make sure someone from the Parks Department got over there before we had any eggs thrown at passing cars or cyclists!” And the Lake City was safe again.
Poet’s Corner: “To far Iraq the gov has gone/to cheer our valiant soldiers on/for nothing boosts morale on missions/like visiting with politicians – from “The Bard of Sherman Avenue: Poems by Tom Wobker” (Poem: “Morale Boost”) … The latest episode of “stuffmystudentssay” from Coeur d’Alene High instructor Bruce Twitchell: “I get Canadian and Australian mixed up” … Poll: Almost 55 percent of my Huckleberries Online readers want Gov. Butch Otter to step down midterm to give Lt. Gov Brad Little an edge in his four-way race for the Idaho GOP gubernatorial nod next spring … The calls for the event staff to clean up “human spills” were rolling in as superb S-R photog Colin Mulvany waited in the Spokane Arena security area for Def Leppard to appear on stage last week. So were the ejections. Two women got the boot because they couldn’t keep their tops on while Poison played on stage. File this one under: Older Doesn’t Mean Wiser.
“Ken” never responded. On Feb. 10, Huckleberries told you about a transient named Ken who scribbled a resume on the back of a 12-pack of Keystone Beer and gave it to one of Kevin Serr’s hired hands. Intrigued, contractor Serr of Compass Construction (and Blessings Under the Bridge) tried to contact Ken to offer him a job. The Coeur d’Alene contractor appreciated that Ken had repurposed the beer box. Kevin tells Huckleberries: “My experience has been that independent contractors are just that.” Opportunity lost.
You can contact D.F. “Dave” Oliveria at 509-319-0354 or firstname.lastname@example.org.