The Slice: Some parasites have no sense of decency

In Monday’s column, I pledged to not print any items that included the words “tick” and “groin.”

I did not, however, say anything about the words “tick” and “testicle.”

Here is how a phone message left for me on Friday began.

“Hi, Paul. I remember as a young boy I found a tick burrowing into my testicle.”

I promptly stopped listening at that point.

But I know the caller. His name is Jim. He’s an older gentleman who once worked for The Spokesman-Review, on the business side of the newspaper.

I don’t know what the employment applications were like back then. But I suspect some things never came up. You know, “Have you ever had a tick burrow into your testicle?”

Now I suspect Jim might have been a tad imprecise in his characterization of both the tick’s parasitic activities and the host body part in question.

Let’s just leave it that, shall we?

Now perhaps if I listened to the rest of the phone message, I might glean a few answers. But some of us are just a tad squeamish about ticks digging into or otherwise accessing private parts.

I mean, who knows where the story goes from there. Just imagine. Or better yet, don’t.

So I know what you are thinking. Why, if I have such delicate sensibilities about the whole ticks/testicles interface, would I bring this up?

Well, I’ll tell you. I raise the issue because I suspect many Inland Northwest men have experienced this but have been afraid to speak up about it in a public way.

And I’d like guys to be able to open up.

I’m not saying we need tick/testicle support groups.

“Hi, my name is Jim. I had a tick burrow into my testicle.”

“Hi, Jim.”

But perhaps if those with such stories from their past could be encouraged to come forward and step into the light, we could let the healing commence.

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to remind guys to check themselves out after coming home from the woods.

This date in Slice history (1997): Today’s Slice question: What would a man learn if he could be a fly on the wall at a few bridal showers?

Today’s Slice question: Where were you when you experienced the clearest sky and blackest night, perfect for an unbelievable session of star-gazing?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. What happened after you drank wild water?