The Slice: Things we have never done

Let’s start with a look at readers’ “never” lists.

“I’ve been to lots of fairs and carnivals,” wrote Cathy Kraus of Coeur d’Alene. “Never ever have I had a corn dog. My husband keeps trying to get me to eat one. I like corn. I like dogs. It just doesn’t sound good to me.”

I’ve heard that never having eaten a corn dog is like never having been to Paris.

Diane Jones reported she has never been to Banff. “We tried to go when we moved to Sandpoint from Colorado in 1984, but there were forest fires that kept us from going. Yes, one day we hope to get there.”

In the meantime, you can have fun pronouncing it. Banfffffffff.

Gary Polser has never sent or received a text message.

Stay with it, brother. I once vowed in print, long ago, that I would never have email. Ahahahahahahahaha. What a maroon, as Bugs would say.

And Karen Estes of Dalton Gardens shared this.

“Although I’ve lived in the Coeur d’Alene area for 38 years and have traveled to many places around the world, I have never been to Boise. Maybe someday.”

Karen, there’s a CCR song about “Someday.” Just saying.

Wishing for a do-over: Arthur Dendy said he had something he wanted to get off his conscience.

“In the summer of ’42 I was 12 and summering in Douglas, Arizona. One night, as boys then did, a small bunch of us ‘Anglos’ gathered under a corner streetlight to begin a game of kick the can. Just as we started, a ‘Latino’ boy attempted to join us. We, as a group, instantly and without a cue, stopped the game and disbanded. I never saw any of those boys again.

“Years later, probably in the ’90s, I happened upon an article in the Phoenix Gazette that was an excerpt from an autobiography. The author described the event in Douglas that night in uncanny detail, recalling how hurt he had been with the rejection by the ‘Anglos’ and how someday he would pay them back.”

It was written by a former governor of Arizona.

“That’s it. Thank you for allowing me at least partial atonement.”

Today’s Slice question: What do pharmaceuticals advertised on the TV programming you watch suggest about how drug marketers see you?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. On an April Fools Day a number of years ago, The Slice illustrated a brief bogus biography of Dorothy Dean with a high-temperature photo of Rita Hayworth.