The Slice: Let’s get real about mothers

Sometimes I fear we don’t really understand the role of mothers.

Take that old song, “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.”

And the line, Let ’em be doctors and lawyers and such.

I know it’s just a song lyric. But it bugs me. My impression has always been that parents worked their butts off to help put their kids on a path toward those kinds of opportunities. There’s no passive “Let ’em” about it.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Sign of the apocalypse: A friend who works out at the airport told me about a young couple taking a selfie at a funeral.

Fragrance crimes, No. 1: Ron McDonald shared this story from a bitterly cold winter night in the late 1980s.

Ron and his wife, along with two small dogs, were driving somewhere when they saw two young men standing by a car on the side of the road. It was venting steam. “They were dressed to the nines.”

Ron asked if they needed a ride. They hopped in.

“Car is immediately filled with the aroma of excess cologne. Wife and I tear up; dog in back starts sneezing and doesn’t stop until we drop them off. As we drive on with the windows open (despite the frigid temperature), we get the ‘Don’t ever do that again’ look from the dog.”

Today’s occupational tan: Moscow’s Don Corner is a rural carrier for the U.S. Postal Service. The vehicles he drives over his 95 mile route have him seated on the right side.

“I get what I call rural carrier tan. My right arm always receives the sun and my left does not. So my right arm is always darker.”

Warm-up question: When you heard people talk about your mother at her funeral, what went through your mind?

A) Who was this woman they are describing? B) I wish I had known that. C) If mom had heard some of this stuff, she would have rolled her eyes. D) I guess it would be rude and pointless to stand up and offer a rebuttal. E) Different relationships, different perspectives. F) These people just didn’t know her the way I did. G) They all mean well. H) Would have been nice to tell her some of this while she was alive. I) Other.

Today’s Slice question: Last year on Mother’s Day, The Slice asked what made/makes your mother laugh. So this year, let’s consider the other end of the spectrum.

What made/makes your mother cry?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Quoting Rocky and Bullwinkle is rarely a bad idea.