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The Slice: When it’s time to lace ’em up

Fri., May 19, 2017, midnight

Retired Navy chaplain Lonnie Scott did a lot of marriage counseling for sailors and Marines.

In working with one couple, it came up that, though they were in love, the husband was not the best listener.

Here’s a case in point. Once, after emerging from the shower, the wife said she was feeling kind of frisky. Clearly, she was in the mood.

But her husband, who was playing a computer game, said “Great, I’ll put my sneakers on.”

Sneakers? Huh?

He thought she had said “Frisbee.”

More fragrance crimes: This comes from Diamond Lake’s Dee Hargitt.

“When I was working at an elementary school many years ago, I was in the office and a parent who was very involved in PTA and with the school was sitting behind me working on something. She always wore way too much fragrance.

“At one point, our custodian came around the corner and into the office. He said quite loudly, ‘What is that HORRIBLE smell?’ ”

Here’s one from Spokane Valley’s Jim Clanton.

“Some years ago, I was on a connecting flight going to Dallas. The annual Mary Kay bash was being held in Dallas that week so the passengers were virtually all Mary Kay ladies. They were coiffed, dressed and made up to the nines. A veritable sea of pink. Of course, this included each lady wearing her favorite fragrance, some, perhaps a bit too much.

“Anyway, once the aircraft AC system mixed all of the scents together it created a cornucopia of smells I remember 20-plus years later. Certain fragrances take me right back to that flight.”

Carbon dating adults: Lori Goldade of St. Maries was visiting her grandchildren in southern Idaho. The kids are 5 and 7.

“I heard them in another room arguing about what had happened to the dinosaurs. My 5-year-old granddaughter said, ‘Let’s go ask Grandma. I think she was about 40 then.’ ”

Today’s Slice question: So I was passing a Spokane middle school earlier this week just a few minutes after school let out. The thought occurred to me that one of the kids I was seeing might one day wind up performing computer-assisted surgery on me. I considered yelling, “Hey, quit fooling around with that skateboard – get home and start doing your homework!”

I elected to keep quiet. Yelling seldom encourages model behavior.

But what would you say to your future surgeon?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Chris Lang’s proposed slogan for the SR: “That Wet Thing in the Driveway.”

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