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Thursday, December 13, 2018  Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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News >  The Slice

The Slice: Today has more to offer than meatloaf

At least this particular Monday comes with a built-in excuse.

No matter what you mess up, you can say it.

“Sorry, the time change must have thrown me off.”

Decided to blow off work so you could stay home and smoke marijuana?

“Sorry, the time change must have thrown me off.”

Your column is full of embarrassingly transparent fluff and filler (even more so than usual)?

“Sorry, the time change must have thrown me off.”

Try it. It’s fun.

You might be old if…: You watched the Les Nessman turkey drop episode of “WKRP in Cincinnati” when it first aired in the fall of 1978

“As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”

Slice answer: The question dealt with children, top bunks and gravity.

“Sadly, my 6-year-old great granddaughter, Genevieve, rolled off her top bunk in our canal boat in England twice on a four-night cruise,” wrote Fran Wicht. “The first time she was thrown off when the boat tipped during the night. What accounted for the second, who knows?”

Another reader wrote, “I don’t know about top bunk falls nowadays, but I’ve got a scar on my chin from my own middle of the night tumble at age 7.”

Squishy moments in Slice history: Seeing the name Genevieve (item above) reminded me of one of my all-time favorite column items, from 2011.

Perhaps you recall. It was about a night stalker South Hill cat named Genevieve who loved to devour slugs. Yes, slugs. And the teenage girl submitting the story memorably described the scene when Genevieve would seek re-admittance to the home after a night of messy feasting.

“Her mouth will be so plastered with the slugs’ slime that she can’t even meow. Even worse, bits of grass and dirt get stuck in the slime. It makes me wonder how tasty the slugs are. A delicacy in France, perhaps?”

Identify the speaker: “I will not tolerate infestation.”

A) Some guy in Peaceful Valley who is aware that all manner of vermin are massing just outside his door, intent on treating his home as their winter flophouse. B) Willy Wiley. C) Curtis LeMay. D) Frank Costanza. E) Other.

That’ll buff right out: What do you do if you refer to a favorite scene in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (30 years old this month) and the person to whom you are speaking stares back blankly?

Today’s Slice question: In your experience, what happens when you let friends borrow your books?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email How many modern-day Republicans would have voted for Abraham Lincoln (elected president on this date in 1860)?


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