The Slice: If you don’t want to talk about the Detroit Lions

So you’re so certain those at your place Thursday are going to steer clear of politics that now you are worried Thanksgiving will be a bore.

I have a solution. Start a discussion of the afterlife and boldly presume to characterize long-gone family members’ presence in your lives today.

Happy to help. Don’t mention it.

Current status: I’m not sure where my vintage Crescent Christmas boxes are, but I feel certain I could find them.

Current status 2: WSU remains 2-0 in Apple Cup games I have attended – 1988 in Pullman and 1997 in Seattle.

How about you?

Describe your snow-shoveling style: A) Ergonomically sound. B) Back injury in progress. C) Watch your language. D) “One Adam 12, see the old guy lying in the driveway.” E) Other.

True or false: And the northern girls, with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriends warm at night.

Today’s rookie bus rider mistake: OK, George X. Hale couldn’t really be called a rookie. He rode the bus all the time when he lived in New York City.

But when he stepped on his first Spokane bus (on 29th) and asked the driver if it went downtown, he was coolly informed that eventually ALL buses in Spokane go downtown. “Well, live and learn,” George said.

Requests that are outside my job description: Today’s comes from Leslie Seamon. “Hi, Paul. Will you please make the S-R stop delivering the Pinch? We’ve called and talked to several people – none of whom have made it happen. Thank you so much!

“Oh, and can you also get a Krispy Kreme donut shop built on the South Hill?”

This date in Slice history (1995): Has anyone in history ever fought off denial long enough to admit to actually being the obnoxious relative other family members dread seeing as Thanksgiving approaches?

Warm-up questions: If “Spokane International Airport” strikes you as sounding a wee bit inflated, what do you suggest as a replacement name? What look does your cat get before climbing the Christmas tree? Does your family have a collective memory of a legendary argument about cranberries or dressing, now referred to as “The Oxbox Incident”?

Today’s Slice question: How would you respond if a law enforcement officer approached your car or truck and asked, “Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?”

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Feel free to tell me your favorite Christmas song and invite me to judge you.