The Slice: Here’s a chance to use the expression “ding ass”

Slice reader Jerry Cartwright thinks he may have gotten to the bottom of why so many Spokane bicyclists look unhappy.

“It’s those awful seats.”

Let’s move on.

Leaving gender out it: I used to work with a guy who knew better than to guess about a baby’s sex. So when someone he didn’t really know would present a loaf of child, he would say, “My, that is a baby!”

What do you do when you aren’t sure and you have a hunch the parent will be offended if you ask? (Asking for the name isn’t always the answer.)

Slice answer: “I have an ash tray at my desk that’s older than some of my co-workers,” wrote Hank Greer. (It’s one of those tall, sits-on-the-floor models.) “Smoking in the building hasn’t been permitted in years. I like to keep it around because it’s so out of place these days.”

When the car won’t start on a cold morning: “Almost 50 years ago, when my daughter was 2 years old and you could still put car seats in the front, my car was acting up,” wrote Nancy Miller. “Sometimes in the morning it took three or four tries to get it started. One morning when I was in a hurry, it didn’t start. My daughter leaned over the dashboard, pounded on it and said, ‘ #&%$, #&%$, #&%$!’ ”

Yes, the most common of scatological four-letter words.

“I learned two lessons that morning: We really needed a new car and watch what you say in front of kids.”

Slice answer: “I did not even have to think for a second who I’d want with me on that trip across the country – Jess Walter,” wrote Steve Wilder, a retired credit union executive. “I’ve never met Mr. Walter, even though he is an EVHS classmate of a good friend. I hope I’d be up to contributing to the conversation with this witty and thought-provoking author.”

Walter’s brother Ralph, sports editor of The Spokesman-Review, received no votes. When informed of this, Ralph noted that Wilder might want to be aware his brother has some troubling driving habits.

To be continued.

Warm-up question: Does it make you feel old when you no longer recognize Halloween costumes based on movie characters?

Today’s Slice question: Have you figured out a more tactful way to ask trick-or-treaters, “What are you supposed to be?”

Contact The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; (509) 459-5470; pault@spokesman.com. The mother of the infant mentioned Tuesday in a 22-year-old column rerun item reported that her son is now a senior at Whitworth University and doing well.