Dear Annie: No booze, please

Dear Annie: The adults in our family, all of whom are blessed with the necessities of life, have enjoyed a “shake the dice/give and take” holiday gift exchange for many years. Often gourmet food items and good wines and such are included. My daughter reminded me this year that we have family members who don’t consume alcohol for various reasons, so for them to end up with a bottle of wine would be awkward and inconsiderate. Ban the booze for holiday gift exchanges! – Judy in Minnesota

Dear Judy: I’m so glad you wrote in about this issue. I agree that we ought to ban booze from gift exchanges. Even if all the participants do drink, people need another excuse to drink during the holiday season like they need a bad hangover. It’s important to be mindful of nondrinking friends and family during all holiday festivities, not just gift exchanges. For one, this time of year can be a difficult time for anyone trying to stay sober. For another, it’s just good hospitality to consider all guests’ needs, not just drinkers’, when hosting a party. Be sure to have nonalcoholic beverages – other than plain water – on hand, such as sparkling water, coffee, tea and even fun alcohol-free cocktails. As a bonus, having such options on display might encourage even drinkers to heed their better angels and reach for a sparkling water instead of another beer.

Dear Annie: I’m writing because your good-sense column reaches so many people. I just lost a dear friend, and it shouldn’t have happened. She was beautiful, funny, witty, clever and tough. By the end, we had found out just how tough. She evidently had some signs that all was not right with her reproductive system, but she didn’t have time for treatment or didn’t think she could afford it or didn’t want to bother anyone with her problems. The pain and pressure became so bad she couldn’t walk very well. The best hospital in the area had her for a month, and the whole staff fell in love with her, but all the doctors and nurses could do was try to give her a little more time to say goodbye. They figured the cancer had been growing for 20 years. It had spread so far into her organs that removing it would have killed her. Her suffering is over now. Her loved ones’ is not. She was young. She should have survived her mother. She should have seen her very young grandchildren grow up. She should have had years more of shining that beautiful smile on us.

I have some survivor’s guilt. About 20 years ago, I was bleeding when I shouldn’t have been. I went to my doctor and said, “This isn’t right, and it’s sapping my energy.” She was a good doctor, and she hooked me up with a surgeon, and I had a hysterectomy. When I had my follow-up appointment with the surgeon, she said, “It was so big and ugly I sent it in for a biopsy. It was negative. You’re good.” End of episode. Had I waited, how long till the biopsy would have been positive? Ladies, if you have symptoms, get them checked out. Please. – Crying Won’t Bring Her Back

Dear Crying Won’t Bring Her Back: I am very sorry for the loss of your friend. She sounded like a wonderful person. Thank you for this very important reminder that you should always get symptoms checked out sooner rather than later.