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The Slice: Smoke gets in your nose

I used to find it mildly amusing when I’d walk by someone in downtown Spokane who reeked of reefer.

But since marijuana became legal, that same scenario seems sort of ho-hum.

Am I the only one who feels that way?

Let’s move on.

Multiple choice (finish this sentence): Spokane is a great place to …

A) Critique other people’s parenting styles. B) Do your own thing. C) Lead a lentils and firearms lifestyle. D) Describe a co-worker as a dandy because his pants fit properly. E) Reinvent yourself. F) Tell stories about ticks taking liberties with your private areas. G) View the great outdoors in terms of firewood. H) Be the guy who, outta nowhere, sprints to the finish and wins Bloomsday. I) Be a snob about where you choose to lose money gambling. J) Tell stories about how humid and buggy it was back where you used to live. K) Block parties. L) Hear nurses tell stories that begin “I had this patient one time …” M) Adopt a “Bartleby, the Scrivener” attitude about this city’s big events. N) Other.

Today’s story of skipping work: “I once called in sick to spend the day skiing at beautiful Bluewood near Dayton, Wash.,” wrote Fritz Howard. “It was a gorgeous sun-filled day on the mountain. The fly in the ointment is I forgot to use sunscreen. I went to work the next day with the best ‘reverse raccoon’ sunburn ever. Healthiest looking sick guy you ever saw.”

This date in Slice history (1998): No one will ever tell you that you’re wrong if you declare that Spokane is “at a turning point.”

Warm-up question: Who holds the record for shortest elapsed time between relinquishing control of the TV remote and requesting that the person now in possession of the unit immediately check out a certain channel?

Today’s Slice question: I’ve written before about playing cowboys-at-the-saloon as a child. And about sipping apple cider vinegar and pretending it was Red Eye or some other bottled spirits. (I’m quite sure it would have been easier/less burning to toss back shots of actual whiskey.) But here’s my question.

If you were a little kid influenced by the familiar tropes of long-ago TV Westerns (remember those?), what story-enhancing measures did you take to add an air of Old West authenticity to your frontier fantasy?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Bev Gibb has lived in Spokane all of her life (she turns 55 next week) and she has never been to Joe Albi Stadium.

 
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