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The Slice: Tick, tick, tick …

You know how Peter Parker (Spider-Man) gained his superpowers after being chomped by a radioactive arachnid?

Well, what would happen to a Washington resident munched by a tick that had been exposed to radiation near the Hanford Nuclear Reservation? Would he or she become endowed with a super Tickey Sense? Would the bitten individual acquire super arthropodic abilities to crawl up people’s pants undetected? Would he or she be able to remain calm despite working at a newspaper where the editor was always fuming?

There might be a coveted reporter’s notebook in it for you.

You can tell the jargon of your occupation has infiltrated everyday speech at your home when …: One day last week, there was a substitute driver on my STA bus route. He made a couple of wrong turns in the predawn darkness. I don’t think he missed any stops, but it made for an interesting ride. No big deal.

The next day, before I left home, I mentioned to my wife that I might have to report on the previous morning’s hijinks when I saw my regular driver in a few minutes.

“What will be your lede?” she asked.

Can you think of an example of work-speech making its way into everyday conversation at your home?

Way-back machine: Here’s an excerpt from a Slice item that appeared on April 4, 2010.

Everyone has a certain style when it comes to eating chocolate Easter bunnies

Which is yours?

Jaws: Like a shark, your eyes roll back in your head as you clamp your teeth down on the unsuspecting bunny’s soft underbelly.

Jurassic: You take the ears and head in one hideous gulp.

Big cat: First you subdue the seasonal confection by biting the back of its neck.

Lamprey: You attach yourself to the host organism (bunny) and slowly ingest its chocolaty goodness.

Bluto: Like the “Animal House” hero stuffing a whole hamburger into his face, you pack the entire bunny into your insatiable maw.

Warm-up questions: How long into your marriage did you pretend to like camping? What innovative approach did your child take when lobbying for a puppy? Is there a member of your extended family whose anxious passenger-seat behavior while you are driving has prompted you to name that fidgety conduct after him or her?

Today’s Slice question: If it had described the reality of the experience, what would have been your prom theme?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Those home DNA test-kits do not actually show results for an “Idaho gene.”

 
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