Dear Annie: My husband and I own a second home. Our daughter, her boyfriend and their two small children live in that house and pay us rent. Six months ago, the entire boyfriend’s family (his mom, dad, two grown brothers and brothers’ girlfriends) moved in. They moved from out of state and need a place to stay until they find a home of their own. There has been no additional rent income, and in addition, they all smoke and have pets in the house, which is against the house rules.
I am concerned about the extra wear and tear on our property. We have discussed this with our daughter on numerous occasions, but she gets very defensive and upset. Furthermore, she enjoys having them there because they help with household chores. She insists this is temporary, but we feel it is already permanent. We are happy to help our children, but we feel used, manipulated and disrespected by these “guests.” What is your advice? – Being Taken Advantage Of
Dear Being Taken Advantage Of: Look more closely at your daughter’s and her boyfriend’s actions, and listen less to their words. She can say it’s temporary all she wants, but six months is a great deal of time to find a place to stay. It is your house and your rules. Set a date for the family of your daughter’s boyfriend to be out of your house, and stick to it.
Remember, it is your daughter who is allowing the “guests” to use and disrespect your property. If you are concerned about a rupture with your mother-daughter relationship, you could always consider hiring a property manager. That way, someone other than you would be enforcing your rules.
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