Dear Annie: I just turned 39 and am freaking out about my next birthday, when I will go from being a young person to a middle-aged person. I remember when I was a child everyone making such a fuss over my parents turning 40. And now here I am turning 40. Do you have any suggestions for coping with this monumental change of life? – Scared of Aging
Dear Scared: It’s as monumental as you make it, and try not to make a molehill into a mountain. Your actual age is nothing but a number, and, as they say, 60 is the new 40. And if you keep a good mental attitude and take care of yourself physically, you could feel even better at 60 than you do at 40.
Dear Readers: Many of you wrote in about “Deeply Hurt in Florida,” who was offended by the way she was addressed on the invitation to her grandson’s wedding. Here is a sampling of comments and advice:
Dear Annie: My husband and I enlisted the help of friends to address our wedding invitations nearly 17 years ago. I remember that day making last-minute changes to names, and I’m sure we made some mistakes. I also remember feeling stress because it was the first big project my fiance and I had ever tried to manage together.
I hope “Deeply Hurt in Florida” will offer grace, much grace, to her grandson and his fiancee. Many weddings are needlessly stressful times for the bride- and groom-to-be. – Offering Perspective to Deeply Hurt
Dear Offering Perspective: Thank you for sharing your story. The fact that your fiance is still your husband is what really counts when it comes to wedding planning, and I agree that much of the stress involved is needless. Brides and grooms frequently will have other people write the invitations. Whatever the cause, it is nothing to be alarmed about, as the next letter, from a grandmother and great-grandmother, points out.
Dear Annie: I could not believe the grandma in Florida was so upset by her correct name being on the invitation. It could be that others were helping write the invitations and did not know her preferred name.
As a grandmother of 21 and great-grandmother of seven, I would not let anything so minor affect my going to a family wedding. You were right. Ask that the placecard be corrected and enjoy the occasion.
I have not written to a columnist before but could not believe the grandmother could be making such a mountain out of a molehill. Isn’t she fortunate to see a grandson married? – Grandmother and Great Grandmother
Dear Grandmother and Great Grandmother: You’re the best! I love your attitude, which, as you can see, is shared by a reader from New Hampshire who wants nothing more than to have grandchildren.
Dear Annie: Regarding “Deeply Hurt in Florida,” I find it sad that she may not attend her grandson’s wedding over such a minor detail as being addressed as Judy instead of Chris.
Does she know how fortunate she is to have her grandson in her life? Many of us don’t have the pleasure of having grandchildren or great-grandchildren in our lives, and how heartbreaking that is. We have so much love that we cannot share with them. – Heartbroken in New Hampshire
Dear Heartbroken: You address the real issue, which is love.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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