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Latest from The Spokesman-Review

His Winter Travel Policy

Below zero
or snowing?
Not likely
he's going.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Canada Geese

A strange combination is this species:
one-half honk and one-half feces.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

John A. Finch Arboretum (Spokane)

Oak trees and hornbeam and maple and yew,
dogwood and willow and hundreds more too,
a bright little brook that runs clear and swift —
thanks Mr. Finch, it's a mighty nice gift.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

The Dorm At NIC

Silent and empty,
with no one about;
somber and dark since
the students moved out.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Drones Keeping Flying Overhead

Those Drones Keep Flying Overhead
(To the tune of "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" with apology to B.J. Thomas, Hal David and Burt Bacharach)

Those drones keep flying overhead
And they’re watching me with cams and high tech infrared,
Doesn’t seem quite right,
All those drones keep flying overhead, they keep flyin’

So I just did me some talking to the man
And I said I didn’t like the looks of this whole plan,
Spying on us folks,
All those drones keep flying overhead, they keep flyin’

But there's one thing I know
Those drones they send above to spy me can do much more than simply eye me
and maybe they’ll be authorized to atomize me

Those drones keep flying overhead
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying’s not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the drones by complaining

Because I'm free
Nothing's worrying me…

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Hot Dogs

A hot dog’s largely tripe and fat

With snouts and tails and such as that;

Because of this some folks eschew them,

Though I’m quite pleased to barbeque them.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

The Bard: 112 Miles On A Bike

It takes a mighty ride
to complete the Ironman,
required are thighs of steel —
and of course an iron can.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

(Christa Hazel photo special to Huckleberries Online: Hayden resident, Jerry Brensinger, 50, supported Boise State Broncos during Ironman as he began to ride out of downtown Coeur d'Alene heading south on Highway 95.  He finished with a time of 15:58:10)

The Tin Man

Old Dick Cheney
is sly and smart,
and now at last
he has a heart.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Ode To The New Month

Your hours will bring joy,
your days will bring gladness;
how welcome you are,
you month of March Madness.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue (AP file illustration)

Shar Pai

He’s mostly just a pile of wrinkles,
this canine heap of folds and crinkles;
a Size M skin would fit him well,
instead he’s wearing X-X-L.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue (Wikipedia photo)

To A Chihuahua

You claim to be a dog? Oh, please.
You’re pointless as a Pekinese.
Your bark is but the high-pitched squeak
that might come from a robin’s beak.

Your wee small body’s thin and frail
and weighs less than a real dog’s tail.
Your tiny teeth won’t bruise a mouse,
so how would you protect a house?
No Sunday paper could you fetch
nor any flying Frisbee catch,
and if perchance a cat you chase
you’ll disappear without a trace.

No canine do you seem to me —

Did He who made the Lab make thee?

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Bard of Sherman Avenue: The Little Angel

The Little Angel On Our Tree

Each Christmas more wrinkled
and faded is she,
and slightly more timeworn –
a good bit like me.

What do you put on top your Christmas tree?


Left hook like thunder
and brave beyond measure,
the final bell rings
for Smokin’ Joe Frazier.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

An Observation At Halloween

Some ghouls and zombies,
you will note,
ask not for candy,
but your vote.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Welcome, Colorado Buffaloes

To have you Pac-12
is a treat –
the Cougs need more teams
they can beat.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Hucks: I.P. Freely Waters Sidewalks

A whole lotta peein’s goin’ on in downtown Coeur d’Alene after hours. And, judging from the latest Downtown Bar Report, not all of that urine is finding its way into proper receptacles. In a recent 12-day period, CPD Blues arrested eight drunks for public urination, including a 26-year-old man we’ll call I.P. Freely. Seems I.P. suffers from a small bladder or a fundamental lack of modesty. Case in point: I.P. was caught watering the sidewalk after exiting the Rendezvous bar en route to Las Palmitas. When the cops asked I.P. why he didn’t pee at the Rendezvous, the drunk said the restrooms were full. Then he admitted he’d gotten a citation in June for public peeing. He’d just paid off the $190 for that fine two days earlier. One of many stories in our Urine-Part-Of-Town/DFO, Huckleberries, SR. More here.

Other SR columns:

Question: Have you ever accidentally witnessed someone urinating in public? Want to share your reaction?

A Prayer For Silver Valley Miners

Where the snow never falls
and sun can’t be found,
remember your children
who toil underground.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Next, Please

Snow in the night
rain in the day;
tired of April
ready for May.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

High School Reunion

He stood on the fringes
with a drink big and tall,
a very late bloomer
who may not bloom at all.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue


Question: When did you bloom?

The First Signs Of Spring

They appear in the springtime
like flowers in the vale;
they appear in the springtime
and they all say, "For Sale."

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

The Bard:You Go Girl!

Kelly Bowen of Gonzaga takes control of a defensive rebound as the Zags beat Iowa.

Sound the trumpets
and fly the flags:
Sweet Sixteen, meet
the Lady Zags!

Are you following the lady Zags?

For Drivers Who Forget

Be careful out there.
Slick, you know.
We got this last year.
It’s called snow.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue


They pay us good wages
to feel up your granny
in case she’s got A bombs
concealed in her fanny.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Song For A November Morning

Those clouds you see
aren’t here to stay.
They’ll leave again
sometime in May.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

November Traditions

This month turkeys
are selected;
some get stuffed and
some elected.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

A Blaze Of Autumn Color

The trees are aflame
with a fire that’s soon gone
and leaves all the ashes
piled up on your lawn.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

(Alternate version of Robert Frost poem for Rep. Phil Hart)

Whose woods these are I think I know,
their office is in Boise though;
they will not see me stopping here
to cut trees for my bungalow.

My followers won’t think it queer
to take some logs while no one’s near
off property I do not own -
they re-elect me every year.

They give their tin foil hats a shake
to indicate there’s no mistake;
the only other sound’s the sweep
that drooling on the ground will make.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
but I have court dates I must keep;
and logs to take before I sleep,
and logs to take before I sleep.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

National Lentil Festival In Pullman

Noble legume,
small and classy,
full of protein,
although gassy;
a boon for farms
from Sprague to Lind -
if I attend
I’ll stay upwind.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

The Magicians Club of Washington, DC

With abracadabra
and pixie dust too,
they make money appear
right out of the blue.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue

A Northwest Strawberry Festival

She spied in her garden,
so green and so merry,
the happy slugs munching
a sweet, red, ripe, berry.

The Bard of Sherman Avenue