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Are People Crazier @ Fred Meyer?

On her Facebook wall, Cindy writes of a close encounter with a Fred Meyer employee today: "Just got back From Fred Meyer. An employee on his lunch break walked by me singing 'People are crazy at — Fred Meyer … People are crazy — at Fred Meyer.' I don't confine my craziness to Fred Meyer."

Question: Where are the craziest shoppers in the Inland Northwest?

Sam: They’re Just Going To Die’

On her Facebook wall, Cindy tells of this exchange with one of her 4 sons: "I told Sam I'm inteviewing a 77 year-old lady and a 95 year-old man who are getting married tomorrow. 'That is so wrong,' said Sam. 'Why get married when you're just going to die?' The kid is lacking the romance gene."

Question: Do you know someone who has found love and successfully married very late in life?

High Noon: Flipping Off Someone

My blog sidekick Cindy reported on her Facebook wall that she's never flipped anyone off. Rather, she said, "I usually just shake my head sadly. Sometimes, I throw my hands up in the air but that makes it difficult to steer." To which one friend responded, "Today?" And another: "What??? Is your middle finger missing on both hands???" And another: "It's like we don't know you any more." Which prompted Cindy to respond: "This thought occurred to me as an ignorant rube ingnored the 'lane ends' sign and try to race ahead of a half dozen cars. I chose not to let him merge. He chose to flip me off. And that's when I realize I've never flipped the bird. I practiced it at home in the mirror. I dunno if it's my manicure or what but It just looks silly when I do it."

Question: Have you ever flipped someone off? When was the last time you were flipped off?

Pajama Person, Other Fashion Plates

This is a first and most likely a last. This is a column about fashion – something I am woefully unqualified to write about. But since when have I let qualifications or expertise get in the way of a column? Seriously, my fashion goal consists of getting out of the door each morning wearing matching shoes. If I remember socks or pantyhose, it’s a bonus. I haven’t paid attention to fashion trends since I started receiving parenting magazines instead of Prada catalogues in my mailbox. In fact, I’m so untrendy, I thought Crocs was an abbreviation for crocodiles and Ugg was something you said when you got slugged in the stomach. But no more. While waiting for a haircut, I picked up a fashion magazine and my eyes were opened. I read “Winter is no match for the hyper colors, crazy prints and ysl-isms we saw on the runways”/Cindy Hval, Washington Voices. More here.

Question: Have you seen any of the above fashions in your area? Or do you wear pajamas in public or leave your baseball cap on your head?

Cindy Checks Out SArmy Bell Ringer

On her Facebook page, Cindy proclaims: “I am going to Walmart!” Nah, she’s not going to shopt there (so you anti-WalMart readers can take your fingers off the keyboard. Rather, Cindy’s getting paid to go to WalMart. More Cindy: “Salvation Army Captain Kyle Smith is trying to break the continuous Kettle bell ringing record. He started at 5 this a.m. and hopes to ring until 1 p.m. Saturday. He must stand the entire time and even ring while in the restroom! He’s at WalMart Northpointe by the N. Division Y and he’d love lots of company and support. Now, to find a disguise… (KREM story here.)

Question: How long do you think you could ring a Salvation Army red-kettle bell without going bonkers?

Cindy: I Coulda Been Guvnah

Cindy thinks she’s qualified to be governor of Idaho. And considering her list of qualifications below she may be onto something:

  • I have ridden horses.
  • I have not done things with ropes or small cows.
  • I have been around hay and watched bales be bucked, but I did not participate in the bucking.
  • I have moved irrigation pipe.
  • I have not smoked a pipe.
  • I can play Heart and Soul on the piano. Also, the knuckle song.
  • I like potatoes.
  • I have nice hair.
  • I think I’m qualified!!

Question: What other qualifications would she need to be Idaho governor, other than to move from Spokane to North Idaho & start attending Tea Parties?

Cindy: Red Lights Test My LBTS

I’ve been seeing red a lot, lately. No, I haven’t been angry. I’m talking about traffic lights. There are 252 traffic lights in the city, and I believe I’ve been stuck at red lights at half of them. This has seriously aggravated my LBTS (Low Boredom Threshold Syndrome). I tried timing how many minutes I spend each day waiting for lights to change, but I also suffer from MDD (Math Deficiency Disorder). Recently, I updated my Facebook status update while trapped at the Division Street and Wellesley Avenue intersection. According to city signal operations engineer, Valla Melvin, I really didn’t sit there for 20 minutes – it just felt that way/Cindy Hval, Washington Voices. More here. (SR File Photo: Liz Kishimoto)

Question: How many signal lights do you sit at each day? How many minutes do estimate you spend waiting for the light to change?

High Noon: Out, Out, Damn NIdahoans

Sidekick Cindy got all snarky after her trip to Greenbluff, one of the few attractions in eastern Washington that I wouldn’t mind having over here in North Idaho. Facebooks Cindy: “Apparently, one gazillion other people also decided to Greenbluff, most of them from Idaho. What? Do they not grow pumpkins or apples in Idaho? To which, I responded: “Here’s a deal for you Washingtonians. We’ll stay away from Greenbluff in the fall, if you’ll stay away from our lakes & waterways in the summer. Deal?”

Question: If you take away Greenbluff, the Spokane airport, and workplace, how often would you go to Spokane in a given month?

Hi-Noon: Teacher’s Conference, Oh My!

On her Facebook wall, Cindy writes that she’s “heading out to 5th grade parent/teacher conference. Sam is smart and personable and teachers love him. So, why do I always feel nervous before conferences? Am I the only one who feels like this is also a parental performance review?” I never felt nervous re: those reviews, just weird that I had to scrunch into a student’s desk to listen to the teachers tell what they did and whether or not the kids were doing well.

Question: Do you feel as though a teacher’s conference is a parental performance review?

Cindy: Let The Thermostat War Begin

On her Facebook wall, Cindy proclaims: “Let the thermostat wars begin. It’s pretty hard to type while wearing mittens.” Seems Cindy’s husband has yet to turn on the heat, prompting her to write: “I’m not sure what his criteria is. Perhaps he thinks the energy I emit while fuming about the chill will keep the house warm enough for awhile about an hour ago.” Responded Trish Gannon of the River Journal: “I’ve had fires goin’ for a month. One reason I never want to be married again … men are warmer.”

Question: Who controls the thermostat in your home?

Cindy: ‘Desk Lickers’ Annoy Me

CindyH via Facebook: My five-year-old niece enjoyed her first few days of kindergarten, with one notable exception: her deskmate Timmy. “Why don’t you like Timmy?” ”Because he LICKS the desk!” There you have it. My new word for people who annoy me: desk licker. I’d like to ask: Question: What do you call people who annoy you?

Question: You can answer Cindy’s question — if it’s suitable for a family friendly blog: What do you call people who annoy you? Or you can opt for this one: Any memories from your first day of school?

High Noon: OK To Spy Via Facebook?

On Facebook, Sidekick Cindy confesses to checking out her son Alex’s date’s Facebook profile page to get some idea re: the girl his boy was going to date. And she admitted feeling a little guilty that she had. But other moms responded she had done no wrong. Said one: “Oh, I am definitely going to cyberstalk all of my kids’ dates. That’s just good parenting!” And another: “You only have to feel guilty if you post her name and get everyone to also go check her out… And then allow everyone to discuss her flaws…” And still another: “No, I have three girls and it does not seem unreasonable to me.” I noticed that no men responded to the inquiry.

Question: Is it OK to check out the Facebook pages belonging to someone who is going to date a child of yours?

Hi-Noon: That Sad Look From Dentists

On Facebook, sidekick CindyH posted this morning that she was on her way to the dentist “which isn’t fun anymore since they won’t give me nitrous oxide for routine cleanings. Then there’s the lying about flossing. This time I’m going to tell the truth.” Which prompted another commenter to post: “Look. I don’t floss unless I’m trying to cram for this dental exam. I know I should. I’m a bad person. Blah. Blah. Blah. I should floss more. Noted. Let’s move on.” To which, Cindy responded: “It’s the sad look of disappointment that’s hard to deal with. I mean I only see these people twice a year, but I crave their approval. And a prize from the treasure box.” (SR File Photo for illustrative purposes)

Question: Do all dentists give patients that sad look, even once in awhile, to make us feel bad re: not doing all we can do to protect the pearly whites?

Cindy: Out, Out Damn ‘Lieutenant’

On Facebook, Cindy commented that she’s adding “Lieutenant” and “camaraderie” to her list of words she can never spell right on the first try.

Question: What words do you usually misspell on the first try?

Hi-Noon: Real ‘Breakfast Of Champions’

Cindy: If breakfast is the most important meal of the day, shouldn’t we eat our most important foods then? For me that would be PB chocolate ice cream, a juicy grilled ribeye, steamed new potatoes slathered in butter, smoked salmon with capers and onions on a chewy baguette, and a chunk of dark chocolate. I’m thinking that says “important”. In fact it may say, “Breakfast of Champions.”

Question: What’s your idea of a ‘real breakfast of champions’?

Cindy: Don’t Drill, Baby, Drill

I can’t top the closing situation/question that Cindy came up with on Facebook this afternoon. Seems she was have an manicure when … well, I’ll let Cindy tell the story: “Drill baby, drill takes on new meaning when your nail tech accidentally drills into the fleshy part of your thumb during a manicure.” Yes, the manicurist drew blood. Again, Cindy: “But my tech happens to be graduating from Nursing School in June. I think she did it on purpose, so she could whip out the first-aid kit. Imagine my dismay when she had NO Disney Princess bandages.” The tale prompted Liz to write that a dentist once accidentally slipped and drilled her cheek. Liz: “Really big ow when it was all over and the novocaine wore off.” (Illustration: SR File Photo) 

Question: Have you ever been injured inadvertently by a manicurist, dentist, doctor, or other professional that medical or cosmetic professional?

Big Cups Of Coffee Need TLC To Finish

I’ve consumed a lot of coffee the last couple of days, hanging out with my kids in Cour d’Alene and Spokane. I always order coffee, never the mochas or sundry other drinks offered at the various coffee shops, in sizes from 8 ounces to 20 ounces. Usually, I ended up drinking the last half of the 20-ouncer cold, if i finished the drink at all. On Facebook, Cindy wonders about the need to have big cups of coffee in the morning: “Theoretically,” Cindy says, she “likes the idea of BIG coffee cups, but finds the coffee gets cold quickly. So, she fills the cup half full, and then wonders what is the point of having a BIG cup?

Question: What size of coffee drink do you order at your favorite coffee shop? Or what size of cup do you use for your own brew at home? Any secrets for keeping the coffee warm?