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Hayden home aglow for the holidays

Jeremy Morris, his wife, Kristy, and their daughter, Savannah Claire, 3, are seen in front of their home in Hayden on Thursday. The couple enlisted the help of volunteers to direct traffic around their festively lit home. Kathy Plonka, SR, photo.

Let’s light up the Spokane Valley map!

Every year we generate a map of holiday light displays here at the paper. People register their own lights on a public map and those of us who like driving around looking at the lights have an easy way to find them. How about this: let this holiday season be the Spokane Valley season - let's fill that map with more holiday light displays in the Valley than anywhere else! Click here and let's get started.

Yule not be the first

To report seeing illuminated outdoor Christmas lights in a residential neighborhood.

I saw some this morning on my bike ride to work.

This date in Slice history (2001)

When families pile into the car after dinner and cruise residential neighborhoods to check out Christmas lights, inattentive drivers aren't the only problem.

No, there's another concern.

People run out of things to say.

Sure, "Isn't that lovely" or "Talk about bad taste" might be fine for the first few blocks. But after that, it's easy to run out of material.

Not. to worry. The Slice is here.

Stuck for something to say after the hundredth festively illuminated house? Try one of these lines.

"Obesity in snowmen is fatal."

"When the lights are strung that way, it means an Idaho native lives there."

"You know, 'Little Drummer Boy' just makes me want to scream."

"More people ought to mount deer whistles on their cars."

"I wonder what Ashley Judd is doing right now."

"I'm sulking in silence back here because you made me come along on this stupid family outing when I could be home on the phone talking to my friends and screaming 'Oh, my God!' every five seconds."

"Channel 4's Kris Crocker says a glug of egg nog can get oatmeal up on its feet."

"I don't care for boxer shorts emblazoned with zany messages."

"The way some people get worked up about the Sacred Heart expansion messing up sight lines, you'd think they were building a casino."

"Those lights remind me of those fat-free muffins at Great Harvest."

"Are elves an ethnic group, or is it more a religious thing?"

Some holiday lights come with a story

My street goes east and west.  As you approach the western end of it you see some white Christmas lights in the yard of the house on the north-south street right at the conjunction of the T.

These sweet little lights are strung around an enormous rock at the edge of the lawn.

That rock hasn't always been there. But a few years ago a young man exercising questionable judgment decided he would drive really, really fast late at night. And by the time he realized that the street runs out, it was too late. His vehicle wound up zooming across the yard and plowing through the wall of the house at the T.

Not long after that, a few landscaping changes appeared around that house, including the huge rock. It looks like it would stop a tank. Or at least it would stop a car-driving teenager who has been drinkiing beer.

But maybe the next kid will see the Christmas lights and take it as a sign from above that maybe it would be a good idea to slow down.  

Conservatory’s holiday lights are on

More than 30,000 lights glitter and blink at the Manito Park Gaiser Conservatory’s holiday light display, which opens today. It’s put on by the Friends of Manito and the Spokane Parks and Recreation Department and it runs through Dec. 19. The Conservatory is open daily from 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. but the best viewing hours are after dusk.
The holiday display also features dozens of seasonal poinsettias in many colors and variations.
The Friends of Manito have an open house on Dec. 11 and 12 in the Manito Meeting Room (just east of the Gaiser Conservatory) from 4 – 7:30 p.m. both days. Refreshments will be served. Both events are free.